


Longing

by Scarlet_Arachnid



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, F/F, Femslash, Fluff, Friendship, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-03-22 22:40:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 36,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3746281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Arachnid/pseuds/Scarlet_Arachnid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on Lelianas journey through Thedas</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lothering

Chapter 1: Lothering

_Lothering was deserted, she looked around frantically for a sign of anyone, she found none. An eerie darkness started to creep over the village, she was terrified, feeling the coldness seeping into her. It was unnerving, looking up she saw something in the distance, what was it? She didn't know but she felt drawn to it like there was where she was meant to be. She moved, eating up the ground quickly, as she drew closer she saw that it wasn't something but someone, no two figures standing, swords drawn facing the on coming darkness that was now at her heels, she broke out into a full run something told her she had to reach them though she didn't know why, breathing hard, she realised as she drew close that it was a man and a woman. They seemed oblivious to her, their eyes intent only on the evil over her shoulder. Suddenly she found herself on the ground, her foot caught on something and she fell, it was a body, they appeared everywhere now. How had she not seen them before? The woman stepped over her and stood protectively still her eyes on her enemy, glancing about she saw she had fallen near the chantry, the sun was setting on... life? Its rays of warmth were receding fast, eyes following the last bit of light as the chantry was eaten by the darkness, they fell upon the garden and her breath caught in her throat as everything went black and then she was falling._

Leliana awoke. Heels hitting the bed hard, slightly shaking, sweat running down her forehead, over her face. _Could it really have been only a dream?_ She thought it had been so vivid. Unlike normal dreams where the images flow from memory so quickly and efforts to remember are mostly futile, she could recall this dream so clearly, details like she was recalling a memory but what did it mean?

She rolled onto her side, wincing slightly as the straw from the thread bare mattress that served as her bed poked her relentlessly. Oh, how she missed... No, she would not allow herself to indulge in memories from that time. The flame from her candle, which she could not sleep without, danced slightly in the dark. It had burned down and only a small amount of wax remained. She watched it for a time, contemplating, going over and over her dream. She came to the conclusion it wasn't a dream but a vision. A vision from the Maker Himself, she had thought she could feel His presence weaving itself throughout.

She sighed and rolled onto her back, even though its details were clear it's meaning was not. She lay a while trying to piece it together but only remained confused. Maybe she was crazy like they said, her sisters when she had told them her thoughts on the Maker. They had been dismissive at best and cruel at worst, mocking her when they thought she couldn't hear them. Tears stung her eyes, she fought them back, the others were beginning to rise as dawn was approaching so she did like she did every morning and pretended to still be asleep until the last of them left their shared room and she was alone.

Leliana got up and padded over to the wash basin quickly washing her face, looking into the mirror. She was still pretty even after all she went through, her red hair had been kept short ever since her escape and her blue eyes sparkled, everything seemed normal but she could not see the scarred skin underneath her nightshirt that crossed over her back, shoulders and sides. Tears rising anew she stepped away before she dwelled too long, a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure that the door was closed before she pulled off her nightshirt and then pulled on her chantry robes. The morning consisted of prayers in the chapel with the afternoon left open to helping the refugees pouring into Lothering because of the darkspawn. The little village had swelled to the point of bursting. Shelter was scarce and food even more so yet they continued to come and the Revered Mother refused no one, she was a kind woman and Leliana felt safe here.

She wandered outside and began helping people where she was able, comforting words, a prayer or even just a kind smile to those whose world had been turned upside down. It wasn't much she knew but anything to help soothe their pain she would do. She saw guards harassing some elven refugees, demanding to know if they had seen any Grey Wardens in the village, the male elf cowered before the humans and stammered that they hadn't and the guards moved on. Leliana found this curious as news had been received that all the Grey Wardens had perished at Ostagar.

After a time Leliana wanted some solitude to revisit her vision, she had helped all she could. She headed for the chantry garden she maneuvered through the throngs of people, it wasn't big and the huge rose bush that was its centrepiece was long dead but she was sure she would be alone.

As she turned into the garden something immediately caught her eye, the long dead rose bush was no longer dead. A huge rose fully bloomed sat in its centre. Her breath caught in her chest, surely it could not be, she reached out and touched it gingerly, scared it may disappear. It sat proudly, beautifully among the dead stems and thorns that surrounded it. It was a sign like her vision, that even amongst the greatest pain where death lingers near life can prosper. Suddenly she knew, knew what it meant. What her vision had meant. It was the blight, and she must help stop it, this is what the Maker wants from her. Joy swelled in her chest at this thought but how? The Grey Wardens the guards had been speaking of, she rushed out of the garden intent on finding out what she could about them.

Leliana moved quickly, turning a corner and running straight into someone. She hit the ground hard, and began muttering an apology "Sorry, please excuse my clum.." Leliana broke off as she looked up and into the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen, blue like hers but a deeper shade. She held her breath, she thought they looked into her very soul. She sat staring into them and realised with a start the person those eyes belonged to was holding out a hand to help her up, taking it she noticed it was callused from years of training with a weapon. The girl pulled her to her feet and Leliana let her gaze roam, she was young, younger than Leliana. Her hair was red also, longer than her own. Slightly taller, Freckles dusted her face and she was wearing armour that was splattered in mud and blood, some of it transferring to Lelianas robes from when they bumped into one another. The girl glanced down and winced, a blush creeping up her neck "Sorry about that" her voice was soft, "No matter" Leliana replied "It was my fault for running into you" looking back into those eyes Leliana saw a sadness there and then a realisation that this was the woman of her vision. The one she was meant to go to but before she could say anything the girl spoke "I'm sorry, I have to go and meet up with my friends" and glancing at Leliana's robes again she gave her an apologetic look and moved swiftly away from her.

Leliana watched her go, her resolve set. She went back into the chantry and her shared room and collected her bow and daggers from her chest, she hadn't used them in over two years but she knew the path that she now set herself was fraught with danger. She packed the leather armour that he was wearing when she first arrived in Lothering, as well as the rest of her personal items. It wasn't much, deducing that it better she remain a sister whilst still in the village. Leliana didn't know where the Warden had gone but set off for the tavern, most people knew to the village always stopped by the there hoping for something to eat, so there she would go and there she would wait.


	2. Tavern

Leliana glanced about the tavern as she entered and saw no sign of the girl but she did see the guards from earlier. They had been drinking, she took herself to the corner where she could observe the room and wait.

She didn't have to wait long, the tavern door swung open and there she stood. Entering the tavern cautiously, eyes darting around taking everything in, lingering on Leliana for a moment. Recognition flickering, before turning to her companions.

Leliana took in her companions from her corner. She realised the first was the man from her vision. He was tall and looked well muscled underneath his armour, blonde hair that looked unkempt. As Leliana was taking in his appearance she couldn't help but notice he was also younger than she and felt a pang of sadness mingled with apprehension. Did the fate of Fereldan really rest on both sets of those young shoulders?

Lelianas gaze got drawn to the woman who entered the tavern after the two young Wardens, she had black hair and alabaster skin, of which he showed ample amounts of as her clothing only covered her breasts and part of her torso. She was a mage Leliana summarised by the staff that she carried she was also beautiful, she carried herself confidently. Other people in her position may have tried to conceal herself but not her, she looked like she couldn't care less.

Then the final companion stalked into the tavern, a huge dog. It was all muscle with huge jaws that looked like it could tear someone limb from limb quite easily, he sauntered up to the girl and rubbed his head on her leg which prompted her to scratch his ears absentmindedly.

"Well well aren't these the the same Grey Wardens, that we have been asking about all morning? And everyone claimed to have no knowledge of?" The commander asked "It seems we were lied to." his soldier replied.

Leliana glanced at the Wardens, the girl's eyes narrowed at the commander's words and she saw her hands twitch towards her weapons and moved quickly hoping to avoid blood shed, Lothering had seen enough. 

"Gentlemen surely there's no need for trouble, these are, no doubt, simply more poor souls seeking refuge." Leliana suggested 

"They are more than that, now stay out of our way sister, you protect these traitors, you'll get the same as them." the commander snarled. 

"Traitors?" the girl spat "Loghian is the one who turned from the battlefield and fled!"

The commander drew his weapon "You dare."The girl drew her weapons, a sword on one hand and a dagger in the other, unusual combination she observed as her companions followed suit and so did Leliana. 

The fight did not last long, the soldiers had been drinking and were slow at reacting. The girl was like a whirlwind, darting in and out landing her strikes with precision. Blocking attacks just as easily, she didn't think they even landed a blow on her. As she moved to strike the final blow Leliana stepped in between her and the soldiers.

" Please don't, you've defeated them, they're no match for you, show them mercy." She pleaded. The girl looked at Leliana, her brows furrowing before she stayed her hand, turning back to the commander "Take a message to Loghain... The Wardens know what really happened," she said her teeth baring slightly .

"Thank you, I know that couldn't have been easy but I'm glad you found it in your heart to show those men mercy. My name is Leliana."

The girl gave her a wan smile "My name is Scarlet, thats Alistair, Morrigan and fluffy," Pointing to each of her companions in turn.  
Leliana couldn't think of a less apt name for the giant dog before her that was all teeth and muscle. She raised a questioning eyebrow to Scarlet who replied with "I was a kid when I named him, it was either that or cheeseball" Again at Leliana's raised eyebrow she shrugged her shoulders and said "I like cheese."

Alistair Sniggered. "You would find such things funny with your simplemindedness." Morrigan observed and as Alistair opened his mouth to retort, Scarlet cut him off with "What can we do for you sister?" giving icy glances at both her companions.

"You are a Grey warden, yes? You will need all the help you can get, that's why I'm coming with you." As she said the words Leliana felt all their scrutiny upon her. 

"Why would you want to come with us? Scarlet asked gently her gaze never leaving Leliana's "The Maker told me to too." She replied quietly not wanting to draw too much attention to her words. 

"The Maker?" Scarlet said not unkindly but wearily. "Yes .....He sent me a dream, a vision." She knew she sounded ...

"More crazy? I thought we were all full up." Her gaze shifted to Alistair briefly, his words cut her deeply but she remained neutral trying not to let it show. She thought she had succeeded until her gaze once more met Scarlet's some sort of discomfort must have flickered across her face because her eyes were filled with compassion. Leliana felt drawn towards her but didn't understand why which took the edge off the initial hurt she was feeling.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay and help the people here?" Scarlet said softly.

"Look at the people here, lost in their despair, this chaos will spread, the Maker doesn't want this...This darkness, it has to be stopped, let me help." Leliana pleaded, hoping that she wouldn't be rejected....Again.

"Although I don't believe in the Maker you're not bad in a fight, you can join us," Scarlet said with a small smile. Relief washed over her, she was going to let her travel with them. 

"Perhaps your skull was cracked worse than mother thought," Morrigan said scornfully to her companion, eyes darting between them both. "It's done," Scarlet stated simply and the mage skulked off out of the tavern.

"Sorry about her." The Warden began "She can be.." 

"A bitch!" Alistair cut across. "I was going to say irksome but yeah bitch works just as well." Scarlet smiled as she said it "But she's also powerful and we need her so be nice." Alistair grumbled something unintelligible then left the tavern after her. Leaving Leliana with Scarlet.

"Thank you, I appreciate being given this chance, I will not let you down," Leliana said quietly admiring the Warden's eyes once more.

"I'm sure you won't, grab your things, the less time we spend in Lothering the better." Scarlet said then glanced away from Leliana's stare, red creeping up her neck as she turned and left the tavern. Leliana followed.


	3. Leaving Lothering

The group made their way over to some of the stalls that had sprung up all over Lothering to gather some supplies. Leliana, having lived in the chantry for the last two years, had barely enough for a tent and the essentials she would need on the road.

As she perused the stalls she watched her new companions, Morrigan seemed uncomfortable around people. Moving sharply away if anyone got too close, after making all her required purchases she announced. 

"I shall meet you on the edge of the village." before storming off. 

Is it because she is a mage that she is irritable around people Leliana wondered watching her go. Alistair came up beside her, getting her attention. 

"Have everything you need?" he smiled at her apologetically, looks like he has realised what he said earlier my have been upsetting or someone had had a word with him. Leliana had a feeling it was the latter, but she appreciated it all the same.

"Yes thank you." Leliana replied giving him a small smile, noticing Alistair looking around and she realised she hadn't seen Scarlet in a while.

"Shall we go a find her?" She asked and he nodded, they both moved off in search of the elusive redhead. As they walked through the village, keeping an eye out they heard barking in the distance.

"Sounds like fluffy." Alistair murmured and Leliana giggled.

"I still can't believe that dog is called fluffy." she stated still giggling

"I know!" Alistair laughed with her. "Any other name would have suited him better, but that's Scarlet." Still laughing but with a slight awe in his tone.

Following the barking, they came to a grassy clearing and what they saw made Leliana's heart melt.

Scarlet was standing with a group of children, she had clearly been giving them food as they were all eating and laughing as fluffy had pounced on one boy, who was giggling madly. The dog was dragging him around by the scruff of trousers at his ankle, before stopping and proceeding to lick his face relentlessly.

Leliana watched as Scarlet's attention had been taken by a small elven girl watching them from afar reluctant to approach, the Warden walked over to the elf who shrunk away slightly. She getting down on one knee, smiling holding out some bread and cheese for her, the child took it timidly.

Fluffy, leaving the boy alone ran over to his mistress and ran rings around them before stopping beside the little elf, his head bumping her arm demanding to be petted.  
Alistair nudged Leliana and they both set off again towards the other Warden, as they grew close they heard Scarlet say "It's OK, you can pet him, his names fluffy." she began petting the large dog, gingerly at first then more confidently. Giggling as fluffy's hind leg began moving rapidly.

In the midst of all this, a man approached Scarlet his face beet red.

"What are you doing?!" he bellowed at Scarlet, looking at the elf disgust on his face. The Warden looked up at him before turning back to the little girl, who had shrunk away again.  
"You should go back to your family, fluffy will make sure you get there, right?" She stated, looking at the dog who chuffed in acknowledgment. A young elven girl carrying food would be a target in the village with food so scarce Leliana realised, Scarlet was making sure the girl at least got a meal tonight. She waited until the elf was out of earshot before turning back to the man.

"Giving out food to children who need it more than I do." The warden stated simply.

"There are humans who are hungry also!" He spat back at her.

"Are you seriously giving me shit for feeding a hungry child?" Scarlet said incredulously.

"It's an elf!"

"SHE'S a child! Pointy ears or not, you Ser can get fucked!" The Warden retorted before turning to Alistair and Leliana "Shall we?" Walking away leaving the man standing there stewing in his anger. Leliana couldn't help but admire the Warden, most people wouldn't have gone to the little girl, let alone give her food.

"Where's Morrigan?" Scarlet asked as she led them back the way they came.

"Waiting for us on the edge of town...... So did you give away all our food or just some of it?" Alistair asked casually.

"Most of it, not all of it." The other Warden replied calmly and Leliana couldn't help but laugh earning her a sneaky smile from her fellow redhead.  
"I suppose we can hunt once we get a little away from the town," Alistair scratched his chin.

"That was my thinking, although I have given away all the cheese." His fellow Warden frowned which prompted more laughs from Leliana as well as Alistair.  
They met Morrigan just at they edge of town, she was standing in front of a cage, the one with the qunari in it Leliana realised.

"Shor ebasit hissra. Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun. Maraas shokra. Anaan esaam Qun" The large creature was talking to himself. _Or praying_. As Leliana and the other stopped in front of it.

"You are not one of my captors, I will not amuse you humans, begone, leave me in peace." The qunari said.

"You're a prisoner? Who put you here? Alistair asked.

"Of course he's a prisoner, he's in a cage is he not!" Morrigan groaned, looking at Alistair like he was something disgusting she just scraped off her boot.

"I was placed here by the chantry. I am Sten of the Beresaad-the vanguard- of the qunari peoples." He said proudly.

"I am Scarlet. Pleased to meet you." 

"You mock me or you show manners I have not come to expect in your lands, though it matters little now, I will die soon enough." The giant stated, looking at the female Warden.

"This is a proud and powerful creature, trapped as prey for the darkspawn, if you do not see a use for him, I suggest releasing him for mercy's sake alone." Morrigan interjected.

"Mercy? from you?" Alistair gasped, mouth agape.

"I also suggest Alistair take his place in the cage." Morrigan retorted.

"Yes. That's what I would have expected." He replied before turning back to the qunari.

"He was accused of murder, eight people including children." Leliana replied quickly, too quickly.

"Is he guilty?" Scarlet asked Leliana.

"He didn't resist when the templars investigated," Leliana said lamely, she wanted to defend the chantry's actions here but the reality of the situation was that they don't know if the qunari had, in fact, killed those people.

Looking at Leliana with distaste Morrigan continued "The chantry deems starving someone to death or being eating alive by the darkspawn a suitable punishment."  
"Qunari are renowned warriors, he could be a useful ally." Scarlet murmured to herself.

" I am a Grey Warden, looking for allies to help fight the blight. if I free you will you join us?"

"What happens if I refuse?" The qunari asked.

"I'll free you anyway."

That was when they found their little group being followed out of town by a rather large qunari after Leliana returned to the chantry and pleaded with the Revered Mother to release the giant and get the armour he was wearing when he was captured. Alistair gave Sten an extra sword he had but it looked minuscule in his large hand.

Leliana heard the faint sounds of fighting and someone screaming and was about to say something when Scarlet shouted.

"Move!"

They all set off in a run towards the fighting, they saw two dwarfs trying to fend off six bandits.

"How good are you with that bow?" Scarlet turned to her.

"Very" Leiana replied simply already nocking an arrow.

"Get the mage." The young warden ordered before running into the fray. Alistair, Sten and Fluffy following, Morrigan hanging back with Leliana hitting the bandits with spells from a distance. The mage didn't last long Leliana had her down on her second arrow and the rest of the bandits quickly followed.

The older dwarf introduced himself as Bodhan and his son as Sandal, he thanked the wardens over and over for saving them and offered some of his wares as a reward.

Leliana noticed Scarlet was reluctant to take anything from him but she did enquire about one of the carts that Bodhan and Sandal were pulling their wares in, they didn't have much so didn't really need both carts.

Bodhan had agreed readily and was giving them the cart for free but Scarlet insisted on at least paying him something, they watched both dwarfs head towards Lothering.

"What's with the cart?" Alistair asked curiously, Scarlet took her pack off and unceremoniously dumped it in that back of the cart.

"I suggest you all do the same, it was going to be hard going for us to be carrying all that on our backs" the rest of the group followed Scarlet's example and put their stuff in the back.

"Wait. We haven't got a horse to pull it." Alistair looked around as if a horse would materialise out of mid-air.

"And thats where you come in." Scarlet patted his shoulder, Leliana giggled and caught the female Wardens eye, Scarlet smiled at her and she returned the smiled watching a blush creeping up the young Wardens neck as she whistled for Fluffy and lead the group away from Lothering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I hope to be making more regular updates from now on


	4. Grief

"Fuck!" Scarlet was ahead of the group, Fluffy beside her, the Warden walked to the side of the road and began wiping her foot on the grass.

"You perplex me." Leliana stated catching up with Scarlet, Alistair was watching the rear of the group having giving Sten the cart to pull for a while. Morrigan, much to Leliana's surprise, transformed into a raven and was circling over their heads.

They had been walking all afternoon and it was heading into early evening now, they would need to set up camp soon. Leliana was glad, she had changed into her leather armour after the fight with the bandits and she had been getting quite hot in it.

"I do?" The warden looked at her sheepishly, then looked back down at her boot.

"No silly." Leliana giggled. "You were born noble, yes? I can tell by the way you carry yourself and how you speak with others, but you swear like a sailor."  
Sadness flickered over Scarlet's face and she looked away.

"My .... My family name is Cousland, my parents are ..... were Teryn and Teryna of Highever." The young Warden said morosely.  
_Were_. "I'm so sorry..." Leliana started before she was cut off. 

"As for the swearing," She had composed herself quickly. "I spent a lot of time around the guards when I began weapon training, I guess I picked up some bad habits from them." The Warden shrugged her shoulders.

Evidently she didn't wish to discuss it and Leliana felt it best not to push.

"We should hunt some before we have to find a place to camp, since I gave most of our food away." The Warden continued looking at her warhound, then headed over to the cart to grab a spare bow they had.

"I can join you if you like." Leliana suggested, "I'm good with a bow."

"That would be great actually, your much better than me." She gave Leliana a small smile then set off into the woods not before telling Alistair to find a camp site nearby.

After walking for a short amount of time in silence, Scarlet bent down onto one knee. Leliana followed suit, kneeling beside the warden. She had spotted a doe in the distance, it still too far away to shoot. Looking at Fluffy and using only her hands to communicate, she gave him direction and the dog stalked off silently.

She then turned to Leliana and whispered in her ear.

"He's going around and will try and herd it in our direction" The young wardens lips a mere inch from her, Leliana could feel her breath on her skin, a shiver traveling through her, Leliana nodded but it was distracting, she gave her head a small shake and nocked an arrow, entirely unsure of what she was feeling.

A moment later the doe bolted Fluffy giving chase, running towards where Leliana and the warden where hidden. Scarlet let loose an arrow and it missed by some way, flying high into the air.

"Shit!" She whispered angrily.

Leliana's shot was true, it imbedded itself in the doe's side, it wasn't enough to kill it but it did fall down and Fluffy was on it in an instant.

"Thank the maker for you, or our dinner would have pranced away." Scarlet stood up and began walking over to where Fluffy was.

Leliana giggled. "It wasn't prancing, it was running and your shot nearly hit it."

The Warden turned to her with a look of disbelief on her face.

"You're joking, right? I think that arrow may have embedded itself in the moon!" She pointed to the sky where said moon was beginning to show itself, making the Orlesian laugh once more.

The Warden grumbled something about not being used to the bow she was using, as she and Leliana carried the doe back to the road.

Fluffy led the way, using his nose, and it wasn't long before they found the others setting up camp. For which Leliana was grateful, the doe was getting heavy.They set it down as Alistair approached.

"Why don't you both let me take care of that, there's a stream nearby." He stated eyeing the blood covering both their armours.

"That's a good idea but I'll help you with this." the Warden said turning to Leliana, "You should go, though," giving her a shy smile before turning back to the doe.

Leliana was relieved, she didn't want anyone to see her scars. She walked over to the cart and grabbed her pack then headed off towards the stream.

Later after everyone had bathed and all the tents were put up, Morrigan had set her own tent up as far away from everyone else as she could. They had all sat down to eat a meal the witch had prepared. It was delicious, the woman knew how to cook.

"This is really good Morrigan," Alistair mumbled around a mouthful of food, which in turn made the witch make a disgusted sound and stalk off to her own tent.

They set up a watch schedule, Scarlet was to take up the first and made a patrol of the perimeter as the other went to their tents.

Leliana was exhausted, she hadn't walked so much for such a long time and was very much looking forward to curling up in her bedroll, she had lit a small candle at the camp fire which was now burning in the corner of her tent. She considered not lighting one but the thought of waking up in complete darkness, her nightmares returning... She couldn't and soon she had drifted off into the fade.

Leliana awoke a short time later to a noise coming from out side, she couldn't quite place it. It sounded muffled. She cautiously moved to the tent flap, wondering what it was, carefully opening it so she could peek out.

Scarlet was sitting on one of the logs Sten had found and laid beside the camp fire, Fluffy sitting between her legs. The young Warden had her arms wrapped around his shoulders, her face buried in the fur of his neck. She was sobbing uncontollably but trying desperately to not make a sound.

The girl was grief stricken and it was the saddest thing Leliana had ever seen, she wanted to go to her, put her arms around her and take her hurt away but this was a private moment. The girl obviously needed to grieve and do so alone with no prying eyes, Leliana let the tent flap fall back down and crawled back to her bedroll. A tear rolling down her own cheek as she continued to listen to the muffled sobs of the young Warden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated about whether Leliana should go to the warden at the end for a long time, I decided to have her leave it be, I'm still not sure if it right but I'm going with it


	5. Kinloch Hold

Leliana stretched, the dim light of the rising sun coming through the canvas of her tent, her thoughts immediately returning to what she'd saw the night before and she frowned, she wanted to make sure Scarlet was OK but wasn't sure if the young warden would appreciate anyone seeing her so vulnerable, she pulled on her clothing and stepped out of her tent.

Scarlet was at the camp fire, looking at something in her hand that was tied to a long piece of string which was looped around her neck, their breakfast, porridge, was already cooking. As Leliana approached then warden quickly tucked the object into her armour before the she could see what it was.

"How are you this morning?" The Orlesian tried subtly.

"Fine, and you?" The warden gave her one of her shy smiles that Leliana was starting to find adorable.

She sighed, She was obviously going to have to be more direct. "I'm good, thank you." Leliana hesitated for a moment before continuing.

"I... I saw you last night." The Warden stopped stirring the pot and turned to face her, she looked hurt and angry then resigned.

"I can't imagine what you're going through, I'm here for you if you ever need to talk." Leliana offered.

"I suppose you'll find out sooner or later." Scarlet said a little reluctantly. "Alistair already knows."  
Scarlet sat on the log, staring into the fire.

"My family had sent their soldiers to Ostagar, to aid King Cailin against the blight, my brother Fergus led them."

"Rendon Howe." The Warden spat the name with such venom it startled Leliana.

"His forces were supposed to join ours but they didn't reach Ostagar, they headed for Highever, we had the bare minimum of soldiers and when their assault began we had no chance." Anger had seeped into Scarlet voice, Leliana remained quiet, letting her talk.

"The assault began in the middle of the night, Fluffy was barking and woke me up, I could hear people screaming, I pulled on what armour I could and grabbed my daggers." The Warden's voice grew quiet as she continued.

"There was blood on the floor and walls, they attacked servants, people with no weapons and no means to defend themselves, it was barbaric. I ran to my parent's room, they weren't there." Tears began to well up in her eyes but none fell.

"I ran to my brothers room and that's where I found." Her voice barley a whisper, staring into the fire.

"My sister in law, Orianna, and ..... and," The tears began to fall, Leliana had to do something, she reached out resting her hand on top of the Wardens.

"My nephew, Oren, they cut him down, he was only four," Scarlet sobbed before she let Leliana's hand go and stood up. Leliana was in shock how could anyone kill a child like that.

" I fought my way through the castle, I met my friend Rory in the main hall, it was he who told me it was Howes men." The Warden started pacing, "He and my father were friends, they fought together at the bloody battle of white river, Howe almost died there. My father despite his own injuries walked a day to the nearest village for help, he fucking saved that betrayers life, my parents were the only people to turn up for his fucking wedding!" The Warden was breathing hard, the tears had stopped replaced by pure rage.

The other companions were all awake, watching. Alistair with concern, Sten with indifference and Morrigan with something Leliana couldn't quite place. Fluffy had come over and bumped his head into Scarlet's side and she sat back down, he rested his head in her lap, wanting to comfort his mistress.

"Rory told me were my parents were, he told me to go to them, that there was only one way they would get past him." The Warden pressed her forehead onto of fluffy's head.  
"I found them in the pantry, Father was... was injured badly, his blood was everywhere." She had gone back to speaking quietly, lifting her head she looked at Leliana for the first time since she began talking and the Orlesians heart broke at the pain she saw in them, _I should have just left things alone, she didn't need this_ she scolded herself.

"Duncan was there to recuit for the wardens, he wanted me but Father had refused so he was looking at Rory instead. Duncan promised my father he would get me to safety but I was to become a Grey Warden, my mother refused to leave my father, she told us she would buy us time to leave the castle... Tha... That was the last time I saw them." Fluffy whined rubbing his head against Scarlet's leg she scratched his ears, frowning.

"Scarlet, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have..." Leliana didn't really know what to say, anything she said would have been of no comfort to the girl sitting beside her.

"It's ok." She wiped her eyes and leaned over the pot of the now burning porridge.

"We should eat soon and get moving If we want to make a good time heading for the circle," Alistair said taking over breakfast duties, he put his hand on Scarlets shoulder and nodded towards the stream. she patted his hand and headed off, fluffy following.

"Well done chantry wench," Morrigan walked over to Leliana giving her a distasteful look.

"Shut it Morrigan she didn't know," Alistair retorted, he glanced over to where Scarlet had left camp, looking worried.

"Not everything is her business, now the person we are all following is an emotional wreck!" The witch replied before taking some of the porridge and storming back to her own tent.

Sten followed Morrigan's example, he hadn't said much since they had freed him and that didn't look like changing anytime soon.

"I really didn't mean to upset her." She whispered to Alistair.

"I know, when she told me of it, it wasn't like that, it was detached like she was numb to it. She must be starting to work through what happened." He replied.  
Leliana looked down at the ground, guilt swelling within her. She should have known better after what she saw last night. "I feel so guilty," She said taking the bowl Alistair handed to her.

"Don't be." Scarlet's voice said from behind her, making Leliana jump a little.

"I need to start facing it, but not right now." She gave them both a wan smile before settling down with her breakfast.

They had walked for days, now they were nearing Lake Calenhad, Scarlet had remained quiet since she told Leliana what happened to her family, she was ahead of the group, leading the way with fluffy ever by her side, she was so strong, losing her entire family like that and not completely falling apart, most people would have Leliana thought just as Scarlet stopped and placed her hand on her head, rubbing it furiously.

"Darkspawn." Alistair whispered. "You're sensing them, I feel it too," He reached for his sword and shield.

"Is that what that tingling is?" Scarlet replied and the Older warden nodded "I'll tell you more about it later," pointing to where they needed to go.

They climbed a small hill, overlooking a clearing, there was eight darkspawn. Two mages at the back, two hurlocks, at the front of the group and four genlocks in the middle, they were moving slowly across to the road.

Scarlet turned to the group.

"Fluffy, flank them and take the mage on the right, Leliana hit the one on the left with your bow, Morrigan hit the genlocks with some spells, keep them occupied. We'll get rid of the hurlocks at the front." The warden said quietly.

Fluffy moved swiftly but silently around the group, moving into position, the rest of them bent down low, waiting for the perfect time to strike. Leliana nocked an arrow, waiting, her heart pounding in her chest. She hadn't actually seen any darkspawn until now, they were disgusting, every fiber of her being told her she should run. She began to sweat a little as the tension grew.

"Now!!" Scarlet shouted. Fluffy bolted from his hiding spot, jumping his teeth clamping in the throat of his target, it was dead before it could even conjure a spell. Leliana shot her first arrow, hitting her foe in the shoulder, she nocked another arrow quickly. Morrigan had thrown a ball of flame into the middle of the group, the genlocks scattering as their flesh burned.

Scarlet reached the hurlocks first and engaged one with her daggers as Alistair took the other one, Sten was going after two of the genlocks that were now running toward were Leliana and Morrigan were, Fluffy having killed his intended target went after the other two.

Lelianas second arrow hit her mark, piercing the mage in the neck, it dropped to the ground still twitching. Morrigan had turned her attention to one of the genlocks coming at her, a bolt of electricity stopping it in its tracks, Fluffy and Sten making quick work of the rest of them.

Leliana turned her attention to the Wardens, Alistair was bashing his with his shield then using his sword as the hurlock lost balance to strike. Scarlet's hurlock was swiping long sweeping arcs with its sword which the Warden easily evaded, then quick as a flash moving in close and stabbing the hurlock in the ribs, pulling her dagger out and twirling around behind her foe and stabbing it with both daggers, one in the back and one in the side of the neck. Alistair's hurlock dropping moments later.

"Is anyone hurt?" Scarlet asked, looking at the group. They all mumbled they were fine. The Warden nodded. "We should keep going, we are near Kinloch Hold then we can assess things from there." 

Kinloch Hold was a small village on the bank of Lake Calenhad, the circle of Magi's tower in the middle of the lake loomed over it. The group headed towards the inn, after a week on the road, sleeping on the ground, Leliana was very much looking forward to a bed even if it was just for one night.

The inn had three rooms, each with two beds each, Morrigan had taken a key, going straight upstairs, making it clear she had no intention of sharing a room with anyone. That left Alistair with Sten, which the Warden looked none too pleased about and Leliana with Scarlet. They put their things in their room and went back downstairs for something to eat.

The two wardens talked about how they sensed darkspawn, all the Wardens died at Ostagar and Scarlet knew very little of the order, Alistair, who had only been a Grey Warden for a few months, didn't know much more. _They're so young_.

"How old are you both?" Leliana asked, wanting to know exactly how old they were.

"Twenty two" Alistair replied.

"Nineteen," The other warden stated matter of factly "You?"

"Twenty six." Leliana said feeling old. She thought them younger than herself but not that young. The fate of a nation being burdened on those young shoulders, she could weep for them.

Leliana retired to her room and left the wardens talking, it was tiny. There were two beds with a small table in between them, a lamp barely lighting anything sitting on it, she changed and got into bed. It wasn't the most comfortable bed she'd ever slept in but after a week on the road it felt divine, she wiggled around a little to get comfy. A small sigh escaping her lips.

A few minutes later Scarlet entered the room, trying to remain as quiet as possible, obviously thinking Leliana was asleep, she sat on her bed at the window, taking her boots off then getting up to get her nightshirt from her pack.

There was a thump, "Fuck!" The warden whispered angrily, lifting her foot and rubbing it. Leliana giggled, the Warden made a surprised sound, spinning around to look at the Orlesian making Leliana burst out laughing.

"Andraste's tits, I thought you were asleep, you could have said you were awake!" The warden said indignantly though Leliana could see a small smile on her lips.

"And miss that. You are joking, yes?" Leliana giggled.

The Warden laughed a little, got changed and climbed into the bed "Find my pain amusing do you?" she turned on her side, leaning on her elbow, arching an eyebrow at Leliana.

"Only when you are hopping around on one foot like that, Warden" Scarlet snorted a laugh and lay down on her back. They were silent for a few minutes when the Warden asked.

"What was someone like you doing in Lothering's chantry?"

Leliana held her breath a little, she had been expecting these questions. She wasn't ready to go into her past, they would surely send her away if they knew but the thought of lying, which used to come so easy to her, to this young girl made her stomach twist.

"What do you mean, someone like me?" The Orlesian suggested, trying to think of what to say.

"They don't teach you to fight like that in the cloister," The warden stated turning back on her side, looking over.

"I ... wasn't always in the chantry, I used to be a traveling minstrel in Orlais, tales and songs were my life, one must learn to defend herself when on the road, yes?" It wasn't a complete lie, her stomach went from feeling twisted to a dull ache. _What is wrong with me?_.

Scarlet looked her over for a minute and seemed to accept it.

"Why the chantry?"

"There was a storm, I sought shelter in the chantry in Lothering, I enjoyed it there, it was peaceful, I decided to stay for a while and eventually I found the Maker and became affirmed." Her first lie, her stomach twisted again, there was no storm, the rest had been somewhat true but it didn't lessen the feeling in her gut.

The Warden eyed her skeptically then nodded.

"And.... your vision?"

Leliana sighed. "I knew this would come up sooner or later, I had a dream, in it, the world was being consumed by darkness, there was bodies everywhere, I ... I saw you"

"You saw me?!" The Warden sat up a little.

"And Alistair, I didn't know who you were at the time." Leliana looked up at the ceiling. 

"You dreamed of the blight?"

"I did, when I awoke I went to the chantry's garden, there is a rose bush there that had been long dead. Everyone knew it, but that day there was a rose, it had bloomed over night and I knew it was a sign. I knew I had to do something." Leliana glanced at the Warden, waiting for the ridicule that would surely come.

"And here you are, helping." Leliana looked over at the warden who was giving that shy smile which the Orlesian couldn't help but return.

The reverie was broken by whining at the door, Fluffy wanted into the room, and began scratching the frame. Scarlet got up and let the dog in before climbing back into bed.  
Fluffy stood between the beds, looking at his mistress and began whining again.

"You won't fit on this bed with me," The warden rubbed his head. Fluffy barked and put his two front paws on the bed and jumped up anyway. Leliana laughed as the dog tried to make himself comfortable, Scarlet groaned, "I told you you wouldn't fit." Trying to push him off but the large dog simply lay between Scarlet's legs and yawned looking up at his mistress with a triumphant look before resting his head on her leg.

Scarlet looked over at Leliana sheepishly, "Sorry, I should have mentioned he'd want to sleep in here, I hope you don't mind snoring."

"He's such a wonderful dog." Fluffy's tail began to wag as Leliana said this, "I'm sure I'll get past his snoring."

"I was talking about me," Scarlet said giving Leliana a playful look that set her laughing again. She hadn't been light hearted like this with someone in such a long time, she enjoyed it, missed it.

"We should get some sleep." The Warden yawned and Leliana nodded.

Scarlet reached over to turn the lamp off and Leliana's heart jumped to her throat. reaching out her hand she caught the Wardens.

"Actually, would you mind if we left it on?" She felt silly, embarrassment flooded her features and she turned her head away.

"Sure, no problem." The young Warden gave her hand a little squeeze then she lay back down, and drifted off to sleep almost immediately.

"Thank you." Leliana whispered before her own tiredness overcame her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene with fluffy is from my own relationship with my own dog. When it comes to bedtime, what he wants happens. Whether it is sleeping on my head his arse in my face, or between my legs where I can't move around. so I thought I'd throw it in here.


	6. Circle of Magi

The serrated tower loomed in the distance. The wind rustled against Leliana’s face as the group glided over the lake in a small skiff. It hadn't taken much persuading for the templar guarding the dock to agree to take them across. A bag of Sten's beloved cookies and they were off!

The Templar had denied the wardens passage at first. Scarlet had argued of course but alas he would not believe they were Grey Wardens.

“Come on then, Let's see some righteous grey wardening.”

The wardens normally calm and pleasant demeanor slowly changed and her face contorted in an all - consuming anger; her nostrils flaring, her eyes flashing and closing into slits, her mouth quivering, slurring words that were unintelligible came spewing into space like a volcano releasing its pent up emotions into the darkness.

Taking a step back, eyes darting frantically, they landed on her and he smiled a little.

“That redhead,” He said, nodding in Leliana's direction, “ she doesn't need to go to the tower, does she? Because it gets a little lonely out here sometimes and you could just leave her with me.” He finished his cheeks blushing slightly, looking down.

“What!” Leliana's eyes widened, looking between the templar and Scarlet who turned to her, a small smile pulling at her lips, she would be getting no help there.

 _Think._ “No. I'm sorry... I'm a... Poetess, I'm not interested,” Leliana glared at the templar then glancing around, Alistair's face had done bright red, looking anywhere but The Orlesian, Scarlets mouth was slightly ajar, her eyes wide with a slight glint that made a rush of warmth flow through her. The pull of the warden was getting stronger the longer they were in each others company, the dawns light giving her red hair a blondish tint, a wisp out of place, Leliana longed to reach up and place it behind her ear. 

“Parshaara, here, munch on these if you like,” Sten growled, pushing his way to the front of the group. Leliana jumped slightly. She had forgotten the templar, the circle, the blight. _For just a moment._

“Ohh, cookies,” Said the templar, snatching them from the qunari's hand, stuffing one in his mouth, the templar led them to the skiff.

 

The lake glimmered all around her in the callow light of dawn. A broad span of the deep blue sky was painted above the shimmering surface. The hollowness of the valley magnified all sounds, from burbling streams to the bumble of bees. The visage of the lake was veneer-clear and tranquil, flanked by an avenue of trees. There was strange perfection to the scene while the water was gilded with moonlight-pale lilies. Plip-plopping fish caused concentric rings to puff out and disappear as the air hummed all around her. A phalanx of flies was patrolling the water’s edge, called into service by the heaven-filtering light.

So beautiful.

She was truly a spectator in nature’s amphitheatre.

Leliana froze, blinking rapidly. Her peaceful reverie gone.

The heaven-touching apex of the tower was drenched in brilliant light. Spikes of thin rays of sun impaled it in a bristling, moving line. As they grew closer, all across her line of sight, the tips of the column stuck up like a row of thorns. Swaddled around it were necklaces of dark windows. The air became cold as they came closer to the island. The unmistakable whiff of chargrilled flesh wafted to Leliana's nose, a slight sense of nausea following. The group had ceased all susurration, the silence that followed was spine chilling. It froze her marrow to think that they would be entering such a place.

"Let's go," Scarlet said, her voice wavering slightly. She turned to the group and looked about as good as Leliana felt at this moment. The warden and the rest of her companions had paled in the shadow of this foreboding prison. Even Sten, normally so stoic seemed apprehensive, glanced around, eyes twitching briefly. Leliana's heart hammered in her chest so hard she feared it would break out of its cage. 

As they approached the entrance to the circle, her palms began to sweat, the hair on her arms and the back of her neck bristled as the doors were pulled open and they stepped into rancid wretchedness. The stench of blood and infection wafted through the air and her stomach lurched. A cold tremor shot down her back and her body twitched. _This place was wrong. All wrong._

Templars were everywhere, their commander barking orders, they had all stopped and looked in the direction of the assortment of people who had just walked through their doors. Every one of their eyes had dilated pupils, their hands shaking.

Scarlet walked up to the commander, her mouth firmly closed with a slight frown.

"What's going on here?" The warden asked Leliana moved a little closer to her, nudging the warden and indicating to where templars where barricading the doors.

"Are they keeping people out or in?" Alistair offered, the older wardens lips had compressed and his hand was fidgeting at the hilt of his sword.

"I am Greagoir, knight-commander of Fereldans tower of Magi, We are dealing with a ... delicate situation, you must leave. It's for your own safety." He replied.

"We are Grey Wardens, we have come seeking the circles aid in the fight against the blight, we need the mages help to defeat the darkspawn," Scarlet said, her voice quivering. The colour had not fully returned to her cheeks.

"I am weary of the Grey Wardens ceaseless need for men to fight the darkspawn" -Greagoir shook his head- "But it is their right." He added reluctantly.

The Knight-Commander turned away and walked to the barricade "You'll find no allies here, the templars can spare no men and the mages are... indisposed."

Scarlet stormed after him, her jaw clenched.

Greagoir's shoulders slumped before turning to face the warden. His arms hung at his sides, his body slack. The torchlight cast a palish hue over his features, and dark shadows clung to his eyes. How long had it been since he slept? "I shall speak plainly," he said, his voice barely above a whisper."The tower is no longer under our control, abominations and demons stalk the halls, the circle is lost, the tower has fallen." 

Abominations. Demons. Leliana bit her lip and watched as Scarlets eyes widened, her eyebrows raised.

"How the fuck did that happen?" The warden asked eyeing the Knight-Commander with distaste.

"We don't know," He bristled, "We saw only demons, hunting mages and templars alike, I realised we could not defeat them and told my men to flee."

The warden narrowed her eyes as deep blue eyes bored into the Knight-Commander's. "Are you telling me, you have locked all the mages in that tower to fight off demons on their own?" The warden said, her voice hard. 

Leliana gazed darted from Scarlet to Knight Commander. Did they really leave the mage's alone to fend from themselves? From abominations? Her eyes grew wide as the reality of the situation sank in. Oh, Maker. The children. There had to be children in there. Alone. Leliana's face paled.

"We had no choice," Greagoir spat, pacing the small entrance his men huddled in. "We have to contain them as much as we can. Better a small amount perishes than those monstrosities escape. The damage they would cause..." Greagoir shivered, his eyes taking a far away cast as if remembering a different time. A different place. He blinked, and shook his head as if clearing the clouds from his mind. "I have sent word to Denerim, calling for reinforcements and the Right of Annulment." 

"What does that mean?" The young warden said still glaring at the Knight-Commander but it was Alistair who answered "The mages are probably already dead. Any abominations left in the tower must be dealt with no matter what." Alistair's face was hard, was he really suggesting what leliana thought he was?

Greagoir cut in "The situation is dire, there is no alternative, everything in the tower must be destroyed so it can be made safe again," He said solemnly, he began pacing and Leliana realised he was trying to convince himself.

"The mages are not defenceless, some might still live, you can't just kill them all." The warden narrowed her eyes but her palms were up almost pleading with the Knight-Commander.

Leliana watched the exchange, her muscles tight, rapid breaths escaped her lips. A chill creeping over her skin, she wanted to be anywhere else but here. _This place was wrong. All wrong._

"If any are alive then the Maker Himself has shielded them, no one could have survived those monstrous creatures and survived. It.. It is too painful to hope for survivors and find ... nothing," Greagoir said, wrinkling his forehead, glancing away before looking back, his eyes were haunted.

Leliana glanced at the warden, her expression had softened considerably. "I'll look for survivors," She said her jaw was set. _They were going in._ A shiver traced its way down her spine, the chill intensifying. Her heart resumed its excessive pace.

"I assure you, an abomination is a force to be reckoned with and you will face more than one," Greagoir said doubting. Looking at every one of the companions in turn as if they were all insane.

"I... I must try, it is the right thing to do." The warden straightened her back and crossed her arms over her chest, giving the Knight-Commander a look that meant she would not be argued with.

They had gathered what supplies they could from the templars quartermaster, getting a greatsword for Sten, "Acceptable." The qunari had deemed it and now they were walking through the circle, the door fortified behind them.

"It's ... it's you, no come no further, Grey Warden or not I will strike you down where you stand." A mage with long white hair, tied neatly in a bun said as they had turned a corner. There were children in the corner of the room, all huddled together, a few older mages too, the hope drained from their eyes. The smell was even worse here, Leliana coughed into her hand, trying to keep her breakfast from escaping her stomach. _Maker._

"Wynne? What are you doing here?" Scarlet said raising her eyebrows as she stepped closer to her. Leliana frowned, wrinkles appearing on her forehead, looking between the warden and the mage.

The mage raised her staff, holding it across her chest, "I am a mage of the circle, more importantly, why are you here? the templar would not let just anyone by."

"I came here seeking the aid of the mages, to fight the blight." Scarlet glanced at the corner where some of the children had begun sobbing, she looked at Fluffy and nodded in their direction.

Wynne tensed, her shoulders taut, her knuckles white on her staff but she relaxed as the huge dog rolled on his back, the sobbing stopped as some of the children tentatively reached out and petted him, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Leliana let the breath she didn't realise she was holding escape.

"And you were told that the circle was in no shape to help you, I suppose. So why are you here? Do they plan to attack the tower now?” The mage sighed as her shoulders slumped, she had fight in her, but it seemed to have been rapidly dissipating since their group had turned that corner.

"I... Don't worry the Right of Annulment has not arrived." Scarlet hesitated, her fingers placing that errant lock of hair behind her ear, Leliana frowned.

The mage sighed and turned from them looking at the children, who had all surrounded Fluffy. scratching his fur, their minds momentarily taken away from the situation they were in.

"what else could he do? Greagoir thinks the circle is lost, probably thinks we're all dead. They have abandoned us to our fate but even trapped as we are we have survived but if they receive the Right of Annulment, we won't be able to stand against them." The mage said quietly, out of range of the children.

"They would kill children?" Scarlet's face had contorted, her fists balled up in her hands, no doubt the memory of her nephew had come unbidden to her. Leliana wanted to go to her, comfort her.

"What happened here?" The Orlesian asked quietly. Moving next to the warden, staying close.

"We had something of a revolt on our hands, led by a mage, Uldred, when he returned from the battle of Ostagar, he tried to take over the circle. As you can see it didn't work out as he had planned, I do not know what happened to Uldred but I am certain this was all his doing. I will not lose the circle over one man's pride and stupidity." Wynne turned to face them her eyes alight.

"I erected a barrier over the door, leading to the rest of the tower, so nothing from inside could attack the children. You won't be able to enter the tower as long as the barrier holds, I will dispel it if you'll join with me to save the circle." The mage stood straight, unwavering. Her fight was back.

"Of course, I'll help you, Wynne. I won't let innocent people die for the actions of one madman," Scarlet said, looking over her shoulder and nodded.

Leliana unslung her bow from her back looking at the rest of the group, Sten had unstrapped his new greatsword from his back, Alistair had his shield and sword at the ready, Fluffy stalked over to his mistresses side. Leliana's eyes fell on Morrigan leaning against the wall, she hadn't moved, her expression one of haughtiness.

"Once greagoir sees that the circle is safe, I trust he will tell his men to back down. He is not unreasonable." Wynne turned directing the older mages and talking to the children.

"You want us to assist this preachy school mistress?"-Morrigan rolled her eyes- "To rescue these pathetic excuses for mages?" Morrigan had left her place at the wall and stood in front of Scarlet.

"They allow themselves to be corralled like cattle, mindless. Now their masters have chosen death for them and I say let them have it." Leliana looked into her eyes, they were cold, unfeeling. She wanted to reach out and slap the mage for being so callous.

"Do you have no empathy Morrigan? No respect for anyone?" Scarlet's eyes were ablaze, her hands clenching and unclenching.

"Look at how they live, servants of the chantry, they lack respect for themselves and of their power, why should I respect them?" The witch retorted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Everyone deserves respect Morrigan, even a bitch like you," Alistair cut in, nostrils flaring. He stepped towards the witch, his face one of absolute disgust. 

Morrigan scoffed looking between both wardens "Fine have it your way." Storming away from them, she took her place at the back of the group. Leliana was pleased, she wanted to be well away from the witch.

Leliana shook her head, could the depths of her contempt really permit the deaths of innocent children. 

The Orlesian turned and watched as Wynne and the other mages settled the children, her heart dropped to her stomach at the thought of the templars killing everyone in here, a hand was on her shoulder and she turned her head, looking into those deep blue eyes that never failed to make her breath hitch in her throat.

"Are you OK?" Scarlet asked her softly, Leliana placed her hand over the wardens, daring to let it linger there and, for just a moment, she wasn't scared anymore. _Again she had made her forget._

She nodded and removed her hand as Scarlet turned to Wynne.

"Take down the barrier."


	7. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain pain and more pain

The sea is a cerulean blue gown and the beach seems dipped in gold. The immensity of sky and the panorama of sights can overwhelm the other senses. When she cast her eyes out to sea, she observes that the horizon is hemmed in silver. The waves in the distance are like white creases on a vast bale of velvet and the lulling of the sailboats is both rhythmic and mesmerising. 

The pulsing heart of the sea causes a gentle swell, the waves cascading onto the shore. When they uncoil, it is like an old, vellum parchment is unrolling in front of her eyes. If she could read the script, it would probably say just two words a hundred, hundred thousand times; never leave. Her eyes are drawn to the dot in the sky getting nearer. It is a gannet, plump from poaching fish from the larder of the sea. He is coming into frame and he passes overhead.

She looks around and admires the perfection of the beach. The trees are lined in serried rows and dip their heads in obedience to the sea. They have an Eden-green beauty that cannot be rivalled. Underneath them, a springy undergrowth of lush-green seems to beckon her into the gardens. The smell of sweet oranges and lavender fight, their eternal fight, for dominance over the ocean. She will let its sleeping soul rest today, however. She is here to savour the sea’s indefinable beauty and let its vastness seep into her mind. With luck, she will carry fragments of it home as memory. She stands for a moment, closing her eyes, feeling a slight breeze stroking her face. Taking a deep breath she inhales, the smell of these waves isn't pungent or fishy but instead gives off a luscious, soft, salty scent.

 

_Home._

Oh, how she loves the Waking sea.

Leaving the terrace and walking back into the villa, immediately the salty scent in gone to be replaced by the gentle scent of her mother's linen dress.

She cherishes it more than anything.

The door to the entrance of the villa opens. She is not expecting anyone.

A stranger stands before her ... Is it a stranger? She looks so familiar but she can't quite place it.

“Leliana!”

Rushing over to her. She is wearing leather armour splattered in blood, two long daggers sit on her hips, Leliana let her eyes linger there for a moment. A small smile pulling on her lips. They curved out slightly, not too much, and dipped down into strong thighs. Letting her gaze roam the lithe form, up a flat stomach and onto small breasts. Just the right amount to play with. A rapacious smile spread on her face, she wanted this woman. 

“Leliana!”

Her eyes snap up to the strangers face. Full lips that were set in a grimace on her oval face. Pale skin dusted with freckles. Lustrous red hair tied back into a ponytail then Leliana looked into those big deep blue eyes piercing into hers, a panic and pain storm crashing in them. Stopping the heat building in Leliana like a dash of cold water. 

Those eyes began twitching, darting around the room.

“Leliana we have to go, this isn't real,” she placed her hand on the Orlesians wrist and began to tug her towards the door.

“I'm not going anywhere, what do you mean this isn't real? Who are you? What do you want?” All the questions in her head tumbling from her, she pulled free of the gentle fingers wrapped around her wrist. Her palms began sweating and she wrapped her arms around herself as the hairs on her neck bristled.

_This isn't right._

Two hands came to rest on her shoulders, those ocean blue eyes boring into hers once more. Despite the strangeness of the situation, her heart was hammering in her chest.

“You know me, I'm Scarlet,” her eyes pleading, “ I'm a Grey Warden, we met in Lothering,” she offered hopefully.

Leliana shook her head pulling away again.

“I have no idea what you're talking about, I think you should leave.” Gesturing towards the door from whence the stranger came.

“This isn't real, you're in the fade,” she rounded on the Orlesian again.

“This,” she said, walking around the room, “is a dream, we were put here by a sloth demon.”

“Please,” Eyes wide, begging. “You know me, try and remember, we have to leave.” She held out her hand, not forcing it, letting Leliana make the choice.

Their eyes met once more.

Leliana's stomach was doing summersaults. This didn't make any sense, this woman was clearly talking gibberish but her eyes held such sincerity.

The Orlesian racked her brain, there was a faint recognition although she couldn't quite place it as well as the undeniable pull to this stranger she just couldn't ignore.

She tentatively reached out her hand looking into the eyes, she saw no deception there.

“Lolly?”

Her pet name, her mind Immediately snapped back to her surroundings.

She came into view, long blonde hair that flowed freely over her shoulders, she had the kind of smile that brought warmth and happiness to all who saw it. As her naturally deep pink, full lips began to slowly curl into that heartwarming smile. Large brown eyes which looked upon Leliana with love and infinite tenderness. She was beautiful. She was perfection.

“Mother!” How could she have even contemplated leaving, rushing over and wrapping her arms around her.

_She was home._

“Mother,” The stranger mumbled, her brow wrinkled as she covered her eyes with her hand, taking deep breaths.

She looked up, eyes glistening, they darted between Leliana and her mother before looking down and walking out onto the terrace.

Standing alone gazing out over the horizon before leaning her elbows on the handrail, dropping her head into her hands. Leliana had the overwhelming urge to go to her.

“No Lolly,” her mother pulled her close, her face buried in her neck, she inhaled deeply that scent she loved so much, ”we don't know this person, she needs to leave.”

That smile returning “So it can be just you and I.”

Her mother's hands cupped her face, her thumbs lightly caressing her cheeks “You must make her leave,” her low keyed silky voice flows from her like a warm breeze against the skin, chasing away the doubt.

A kiss pressed to her forehead and her mother released her.

Reluctant to leave the comforting embrace Leliana slowly made her way over to the terrace. She opened her mouth to speak.

“Look at your mother Leliana,” the muffled request cut her off, “she's barely older than you, if that was really your mother, wouldn't she look older?”

The stranger looked up, giving her head a small shake. She raised a finger to her right eye to wipe away what could very well be a tear. Then a disbelieving laugh and another shake of the head.

“I am happy here. This is all I've ever wanted.” Leliana said quietly. She was absolutely certain of that even as her eyes roamed over her mother. No... This was real.

“I know this is hard to take in, believe me, I know,” she said through clenched teeth, breathing heavily.

Her knuckles were white as she held on to the rail that was supporting her?

“I. Know,” she sobbed, looking at Leliana, the pain in the depths made the Orlesians breath catch in her throat.

Taking a step back she drew a deep breath as if to steel herself, her hands opening and closing, she was looking over the Orlesians shoulder.

“That's not your mother Leliana, it's a demon.”

_No._

“Leliana.” A single tear glided down her cheek. 

_No, no, no._

Leliana opened her mouth, she wanted to shout and scream that it was all lies, but something stopped her. A chill shot through her and ice settled in her gut.

“Remember your vision?” She flinched at the sound of the woman's voice so close, she had managed to close the distance between them without Leliana realising.

“However strong your feelings are. Whatever emotions you are feeling. That is not your mother, the demon is manipulating you.” Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks now, her eyes red and puffy.

“Like it did me.” She whispered as her shoulders slumped, her breath hitching as she fought to keep control.

_A consuming darkness. A proud rose sitting in a mesh of thorns. The blight._

“S...Scarlet” The breath rushed from her as she staggered over to the railing. She blinked quickly to hide the tears about to well up and overflow, spilling out of her eyes.

_Her mother... Her mother was dead._

Leliana realised the demon had taken the form of how she had always pictured her mother perfectly. The truth was she remembered very little of her. Only her scent.

“Shes dead.” Leliana whispered. _How could this not be real?_

“What?” Scarlet was by her side in an instant, placing her hand on the Orlesians shoulder.

“My mother...She's DEAD!” her control shattering completely, knees buckling she fell into a seemingly endless pit. The suction in it wrenched at her heart. 

Strong arms caught her as her tears overcame her, wrapping her arms around Scarlet, she pressed her face into the Wardens' shoulder. The sobs racked her body, the rhythm of her breath was lost as her face got tight and her vision blurred.

The soothing cadence of Scarlet's voice was in her ear.

“I know your world just fell apart” -Turning Leliana to face her- “But we have to leave right now.” Her voice gentle.

“You're not going anywhere.” The demon still in the form her mother appeared in the doorway.

She had a smirk on her face, that heart warming smile gone.

_For good._

Holding up one of her hands, a change in the air around them,the slight cracking that came as a spell was being formed. 

Scarlet reacted instantaneously, pulling Leliana behind her, she stood up and drew her daggers.

Leliana felt like the world was falling and crushing her, she tried taking deep breaths but they escaped her mouth in tiny gasps. She clutched at her chest, feeling like it will burst with every tremor of fear that climbs up her insides and slides back down.

The sky was on fire bringing all her fears back to life. Icy claws wrapped around her heart. She was barely aware of the fight happening in front of her, her vision sliding in and out of focus.

Shaking her head she looked up, the demon was advancing. Scarlet was laying on her back, blood running down the side of her face, the furniture around them either broken or on fire.

Then a blur of flying silver as the Wardens dagger flew through the air.

A high pitched scream left her lips, echoing around her, she stumbled over as fast as she could but her legs didn't seem to be working.

She did not care it was a demon at this moment; all she cared about was that a dark stain was spreading across her mother's front. She stares up with eyes that have no light, her face is splattered with her own blood. 

Tears roll unchecked down Leliana's face as she smoothed blonde hair away from those orbs than only moments ago held everything she had hoped for. Stilled for eternity she couldn't help but sob as she peered into them.

The sea was rushing against the rock somewhere nearby; Leliana listened to it while Scarlet said something to her of which she could take no interest.

Leliana nodding her head, agreeing to something without really knowing what.

The Warden pulled her to her feet, but she couldn't bring herself to look at her, she understood it was a demon, but her feelings about it felt real. It was foolish, but she couldn't help but have a tiny bit of resentment as everything became lucid again.

_Her home was gone._

A hand on the small of her back and as she turned her vision blurred and dizziness overwhelmed her, staggering she fell into the Warden. Then nothing.

Leliana awoke in a strange room.

“What do we have here? Rebellious minions? Escaped slaves?”

The sloth demon appeared before them, crowing. His hardened eyes were glittering with hostility. They were wild and fearsome. Leliana's blood was boiling, her teeth clenched. How dare it! How dare it manipulate her so, she had never enjoyed killing, but she would today. She readied her bow.

The familiar weight in her hand centred her, closing her eyes, she took one, two, three heavy breaths.

“You have some gall coming here to stand before Langour. Do you realise how powerful I am? Playtime is over, you all have to go back now.” The demon smirked.

“You made a dangerous enemy demon, toying with my mind,” Morrigan said calmly, but her golden eyes were pure steel. Leliana couldn't speak, the pain of what had happened was bubbling just under the surface, threatening to break out into an all-consuming rage.

“If you go back quietly I promise to do better, you'll be much happier,” He sneered, moving to the centre of the room.

“NO,” Leliana raged, as she let fly an arrow and nocked another as it whistled through the air and embedded in the flesh of the demon.

“Never again.”

________________________________________________________________________________________

Leliana lay on her bed back at the tavern, she had gone straight up to her room after they had returned from the circle. She needed to be alone and waved away offers of food, she couldn't eat right now.

After defeating Langour and collecting the Litany of Adralla, they fought their way to the top of the tower, stopping to free a young Templar named Cullen.

He demanded that they slaughter all the mages in the tower when Scarlet told him she would be saving as many as she could, he had stalked off.

They fought Uldred and freed as many mages as they could, using the Litany. The First Enchanter was among them, he was grateful for the rescue and pledged the mages support against the blight. They were weak, but Wynne informed them they would be fine in a week or two.

The circle mage had requested to join them after they had talked down the Knight-Commander, much to Cullen's chagrin. 

Now she lay alone, sobbing quietly into her tear soaked pillow. She hadn't even known what she wanted, but now it seemed so clear. She wanted to belong, be settled. 

_Have a home._

The door to the room she shared with Scarlet opened, she didn't even bother trying to hide that she was crying. Fluffy walked straight over to her and began licking her hand. Rolling over on her side she petted his large head.

“Fluffy, come away,” The Warden said quietly and the large dog jumped up on her bed and stretched out on it.

“Leliana?” There was a faint tremor of fear in her voice. She sat on the edge of her bed, looking down at her feet.

“I know you had to do it” -Leliana sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees- “it just feels so... raw, I know it wasn't real, I know it, but I can help feeling like this.” She said. Turning her head and resting it on her knees.

“Real or not, you saw me kill your mother I...” -Scarlet stopped her eyes were welling up- “I wouldn't have you do it, it's not something that anyone should have to do.”

_Oh no._

She hadn't even thought about what dreams Scarlet or any of the others had. It obvious what the young Warden's, who sat dejected, before her would be and her gut clenched.

“W... What did it trap you with?” Leliana still asked, the Warden was fidgeting with her bedding looking away from the Orlesian.

“Highever.” It came out in a choked sob. “My family dead again... by my own hand.” Her head dropped into her hands and she began weeping into them.

“Come here,” Leliana said, her own tears rising anew.

The Warden looked up and her, eyes were swollen and puffy, she moved and sat behind Leliana, the Orlesian shifted and wrapped her arms around her, feeling strong arms going around her, pulling her close.

They cried in each others arms for some time. As their tears slowly tapered off, Scarlet leaned back as if to release Leliana. She held on tighter, her fists clutching the Wardens tunic.

She wasn't ready to be alone again.

Scarlet scooted back a little, leaning against the headboard, taking Leliana with her, she curled up between the Wardens' legs, just holding her, it was a comfort she had been denied for so long.

They didn't speak again that night. Eventually, with her eyes sore and her throat raw, she drifted off into a troublesome sleep of a life she's never had but wanted so very very badly.


	8. Was it my fault?

Leliana awoke to light trying to prise her eyelids apart, she shut them tighter in defiance. She wasn't ready to face what the day had in store for her yet.

Still exhausted from the trials of the day before and just wanted to sleep. Wanted to forget. The Orlesian felt her mattress shift beneath her, squirming this way and that.

"Stop it," she murmured, snuggling deeper into it.

A snort of laughter brought her back to her senses, her eyes snapping open.

"Oh I do apologise, am I making you uncomfortable?" The Warden said as Leliana sat up slowly, traces of mirth danced in her eyes and her lips curled into a smirk.

The Warden was half lying half sitting up, leaning against the headboard and evidently Leliana had been sleeping on her all night which couldn't have been comfortable.

"I'm so sorry, you should have moved me off you, you couldn't have gotten much sleep like that, no?" Leiana said, vainly aware that her hair was sticking up at one side, she ran her fingers through it quickly.

"You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to disturb you." The Warden said giving her one of her shy smiles whilst rubbing her neck as she began stretching. Her hair was tousled, flowing over her shoulders, a small crease on her face from when it rested on the headboard, yet she was still so mesmerising. Their eyes locked for a moment and Leliana's heart jolted.

Scarlet looked away bashfully "We should be getting up, though, I need take Fluffy for a run,"-the giant dogs tail began to wag-"and give him a bath."

Fluffy shot an incredulous look at them both, jumping off the bed, he tried to escape by wrapping his jaw around the door handle.

"Hey!" Scarlet launched herself off the bed and onto the war hound, she grabbed his collar with one hand and wrapped her other arm around his middle, they both fell to the ground in a heap and began rolling around. Leliana couldn't help but giggle.

The dog had superior strength, but the Warden had reach and flexibility.

He shook his mistress off but having no way of getting out the room he had nowhere to go, jumping back on the bed, his backside went in the air and his front low, eyes intent on his target.

The Warden truly was a majestic creature, she moved with fluid grace circling around the bed, her prey in her sights.

She inched closer, setting her stance. Coiling her body slightly, ready to go for the kill. She pounced. The war hound was anticipating it but was a fraction too slow, Scarlet wrapped her legs around his middle and her arms around his neck. They hit the ground again and struggled for a time.

Leliana watched to exchange with no small amount of amusement.

"Must we go through this every time I say the word bath?" The Warden had pinned the dog on its back, they both stopped and stared at one another and for a second everything was quiet. An impasse.

"This is happening," Scarlet said simply.

Fluffy groaned and went limp, defeated. The Warden got to her feet and looked at Leliana sheepishly, she had worked up a light sweat in the ensuing battle, a blush had crept up her neck.

"We can all meet up in the common room after, I tire him out and _bathe_ him" She looked down at her dog who gave a small yelp but otherwise didn't move.

"Let's go," she said, opening the door.

Fluffy made a noise deep in his throat and refused to budge.

Leliana tried suppressing her giggling, but she wasn't doing a very good job. She absolutely adored their relationship, they laughed together and even argued with each other it seemed.

The Wardens lips now pulled up and a grin spread across her face.

"You think that's funny? Wait until you see this," She said, grabbing Fluffy's two back paws she flipped him onto his stomach.

Leliana's laughter had died down into little hiccups as she watched the Warden, the war hound turned his head towards her his eyes pleading as he was unceremoniously dragged out the room and around the corner out of sight.

Leliana's giddiness turned into full blown guffawing, tears streamed down her face as she heard the numerous thumps of the fearless dog being dragged down the stairs.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

She had long since finished bathing the war hound and now just sat on the banks on the lake watching the water glisten in the sunlight. Letting her skin dry.

Scarlet felt a wave of anger, followed by one of annoyance. How could they leave her? How could they die and leave her to handle everything by herself?

Somewhere beneath the tides of those superficial emotions she knew the cold deep current of her grief sought to pull her down and drown her. She fought savagely to be free of it, fought to keep only the anger and irritation. Later, she told herself. Later when she has pulled through this and have done all the things she must do, then she will stop and feel. Later.

She tried to act as how she had been before this all happened. Sometimes she was, like earlier in the room, and sometimes she missed the girl she had been and she would lay awake in her bedroll at night and wonder if she would ever find her completely again.

She had already partially broken down with Leliana the night before, it could not happen in front of someone again. Everyone looked to her to lead and she would not falter but it was becoming harder, that bastard demon saw to that. Her dream had been wonderful. Her parents, brother... Oren all alive and well, the pressure of duty taken from her shoulders.

When she realised it was trickery her world had shattered, the air had been ripped from her lungs and she had to relive her whole family dying again by her own hand. She would never forgive herself. She felt the hated tears rising and fought them back, they struggled against her determination, choking her until the pain in her throat almost stopped her breath. She sniffed, horribly loud, then gave in and wiped her eyes.

The tide of anger had retreated, leaving her stranded in weariness and misery. The guilt she was already carrying was now crushing, she blamed herself for Howes invasion of Highever. How could she not? Did she not turn down the joining of their families? Is that why he turned on her father?

Nathaniel was a good man, she had grown up with him, but she did not desire him. Did not desire any man in truth. When she had told her father he had accepted it without question and declined the marriage proposal. Did Howe see this as a slight on his family? It was the same question she asked herself every day.

It was her fault.

Then with a shocking suddenness, grief throttled her. Her sobs could not come up, she couldn't even take a breath for the tightness in her throat. Her need to cry was a terrible squeezing pain that literally suffocated her. She sat on the ground, mouth open and strangling. When she finally got a breath of air into her lungs, she could only sob. Tears streamed down her face, and she had no handkerchief, nothing but her sleeve. She leaned her head into her hands and finally allowed herself to weep.

____________________________________________

Leliana, having not eaten anything the night before was now ravenous, so much so that she was managing to keep pace with Alistair. Scarlet still hadn't returned with her war hound. The Orlesian had watched her for a time from the window of their room. She dragged the dog all the way to edge of the lake before taking her breeches off and dragging the mighty dog in for his bath.

She had finally admitted to herself that she was attracted to the Warden, something she thought would never happen again after what she had been through. It was more than that, though, ever since their meeting in Lothering she'd felt a strange connection to her but couldn't quite place what it meant.

As she was pondering this the door to the inn swung open, fluffy slinked in looking indignant, followed by the young Warden. She wasn't the joking girl that had left the room earlier, she was more subdued. She gave a wan smile to them all and Leliana saw that her eyes were slightly swollen, she had obviously been crying again.

"We should head for Redcliffe," Scarlet said bluntly. Alistair stopped shovelling food in his mouth for a moment to blink up at her.

"Are you sure?" The older Warden asked. Leliana knew they had been discussing where to go next.

"Yes, you said the Arl is a good man and would help us, Maker knows we need all the help we can get." She looked tired as she sat down next to them to eat.

Alistair was looking at his fellow Warden, there was a tenderness in eyes that Leliana recognised. He liked her and she felt a small pang of jealousy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this chapter.


	9. The Crow

An attacked wagon, a young woman in trouble, it was so cliché it was laughable.

Alistair in his chivalry had wanted to charge in immediately after her, Scarlet wasn't so impulsive but wanted to help. It was sweet really. Once she had explained what was actually happening, they tried to gain every advantage as possible, Leliana and Fluffy had moved around to flank the oncoming attack, the dog while stubborn in domestic situations, followed orders precisely when it came to battle.

They made quick work of their would-be ambushers, an Antivan crow had been behind the attack. He introduced himself as Zevran. "Zev to my friends."

The crows hair was gold, trimmed to perfection with the points of his ears just jutting out from beneath. His eyes with startling clarity, despite his situation, were brown with flecks of amber. He seemed moulded from a different cast as he had an androgynous look uncommon to most humans. Darkened by the sun, he radiated energy. His high cheekbones appeared chiselled into shape. A tattoo that ran down the length of his perfect countenance, with eyes bright and spellbinding. Leliana could understand those eyes captivating all those who fell under his steady gaze.

He knew he was beaten and had given up Loghain fairly quickly. Antivan crows were an institution in Thedas, spies, thieves and assassins renowned far and wide. After explaining he was bought at a slave market and had no loyalty to the crows, he offered his services to the Wardens.

"Not that I think you'll respond to simple flattery, but there are worse things in life than serving the whims of a deadly sex goddess."

Scarlet looked amused, she quirked a smile at him while Alistair's mouth had opened slightly, eyes darting between his fellow Warden and the assassin.

"What will you want in return?" The younger Warden asked, cocking her hip to one side. Was she flirting with him? That small pang of jealousy she felt earlier with Alistair now surged back.

"To live would be nice Senorita, I could be useful to you, I am... Skilled in many things," The assassin licked his lips before he continued. " From fighting to stealth to picking locks, I could teach you a thing or two," A smile gracing his features as he looked over the Warden.

" I could stand around and look pretty, if you prefer, warm your bed? Fend off unwanted suitors? No?" He was charming. Leliana couldn't deny it, but that didn't mean she had to like were this conversation was going. He was focused completely on the younger Warden, correctly deducing she was his best chance to live.

A snort of laughter erupted from Scarlet, but Alistair moved in front of his fellow Warden. "You tried to kill us and you think we would let you join us!" He shouted, his eyes were blazing. He clenched his jaw together, folding his arms over his chest.

"We really could use the help," The young Warden said a little uncertainly, eyes meeting Leliana's before moving around her fellow Warden, holding out her hand to help the elf to his feet.

"What? Are you taking the assassin with us now? Is that really a good idea?" The older Warden was indignant as he rounded on Scarlet.

"The crows are renowned Alistair, his skills would benefit us against the blight. Welcome Zevran, having an Antivan crow join us sounds like a fine plan." Leliana cut across the older Warden, giving Scarlet a reassuring smile. Letting her know this was a good idea even though having the elf in close proximity to the Warden made her feel possessive, something she had no right to feel. She almost immediately regretted her decision as the elf turned his attention to her. "Are you another companion to be then? I wasn't aware such loveliness existed among adventurers, surely."

"Or maybe not." The Orlesian replied before Morrigan scowled. "A fine plan. I would examine your food and drink more closely from now on." Her amber eyes lazily roaming over the elf before the crackle of magic in the air and a raven took off from where Morrigan had been standing.

Everyone jumped.

"Fuck sake Morrigan! A warning next time!" Scarlet shouted, shaking her fist, after the bird which was getting smaller as she flew into the distance. She stopped mid shake and looked over that the circle mage, hand still in the air. "Sorry Wynne." The Warden looked sheepish. "Not to worry, dear," as the older woman replied, waving her hand dismissively, she had been trying to curb her cursing ever since the mage had joined their group. Leliana stifled a laugh which earned her a playful glare from the Warden.

They began the rest of the journey to Redcliffe with their newest member in tow, Scarlet had slowed her pace to fall in time with Leliana, something the Orlesian hadn't failed to notice. She tended to do this when they were walking which Leliana enjoyed. Alistair was constantly looking over his shoulder, stealing glances at her which she seemed oblivious to.

"Did I do the right thing? Bringing the assassin?" They watched the elf's back as he swaggered along the road ahead of them. The Warden seemed to be seeking her council a lot more lately, Leliana felt a trust beginning to build between them and it warmed her.

"He will be useful, an Antivan crow is a well-trained fighter, an opportunity not to be missed, yes?" The Warden nodded and their attention was diverted by an awful smell as Fluffy bounded out from the woods covered in excrement.

"Are you fucking serious?!"

\--------------------------------- 

A forest of mahogany. Every sprawling tree was a watchful guardian, a silent protector that surrounded them. Huge roots spread out over the ground, twisting over one another. The vegetation was thick and opulent, forming an archway of green over their heads.

They had set up camp in a clearing where the woods had given way slightly, showing glimpses of the sky glittering with luminous diamond-like stars. The moon hung quietly in the distance causing the trees to cast menacing shadows over them.

They sat with their backs against a log. Leliana stared into the fire, it crackled and spat, it's flickering light stole away the darkness that would have otherwise consumed them, flames of red gold licked hungrily as they climbed higher and higher. It warmed her skin against the chill of the night.

Most of her companions had retired to their bedrolls. The Orlesian had watch with Alistair, whom she had been trying to avoid as much as possible lately. She had watched him around Scarlet since she had discovered he liked her. The glances with a thoughtful expression when she wasn't looking, the way he tensed when she drew close to him and the way his words stuttered when he tried to talk to her.

"So... You're female, Leliana, right?" Alistair had brought her from her musings with one of his fumbling questions and the Orlesian couldn't help but smile and respond in kind.

"I am? When did that happen?" She gave him a small smile, letting sarcasm drip in her voice as she watched the redness, even with the limited light, slowly creep up his neck as he realised how foolish his question sounded.

"I just wanted some advice. What should I do if... If I think a woman is special and," Alistair let his voice trail away to nothing, his gaze was now firmly focused on his feet.

There it was. Confirmation of what Leliana is been dreading for the last few weeks. He was interested in his fellow Warden. The Warden, Leliana had been increasingly finding herself attracted to. She couldn't compete, broken as she was. Damaged as she was. Scarlet deserved someone whole. Someone, not as... Worn as her.

She swallowed thickly and let her voice take on a bantering tone. "You want to woo her? Here's a good tip: You shouldn't question her about her female-ness."

"All right, yes. Good point," He conceded, his hands twisting over one another. He really wasn't good at this.

"Why do you ask? Are you afraid things will not proceed naturally?" Leliana asked him. She was resisting, she didn't really want to help him with this particular endeavour.

"Why would they? Especially when I do things like ask women if they're female," His reply was full of self-deprecation, his head tipping back staring into the black void above.

Leliana stared at him for a moment and really saw him, a young man with no experience in courting a woman. With the blight and the responsibility, that rested on their shoulders. They both deserved happiness, to find someone. Even if Scarlet found it with another.

Her eyes softened and she turned to face him. "It adds to your charm, Alistair. You are a little awkward. It is endearing."

"So I should be awkward? Didn't you just say not to do things like that?" The older Warden replied is brow furrowed, his eyes searching her own.

"Alistair, just be yourself, you do know how to do that don't you?" Leliana placed her hand on his forearm, trying to reassure him.

"All right, forget I asked," He replied and got to his feet. "I'm going to take a walk around camp."

"Alistair," She said quietly, holding her hands out over the fire. "You are a good man. Be honest. No games. No woman wants her heart to be toyed with, especially one who has gone through what your fellow Warden has. Just be there for her." He nodded "Thank you, Leliana," he said as he walked to the edge of the camp.

Leliana's gaze turned to the younger Wardens tent, her heart dropping to her stomach. She reached for her lute, playing always took her mind off things when she needed it to. Practised fingers played on strings, she hummed along with the music, letting her mind drift.

 

\-------------- 

_They had been playing for hours now, surely he must be tired. Those tiny legs rapidly running around the courtyard. A Wooden sword in his hand, the sounds of laughter as he chased her is a cacophony of noise that engulfs her. Her chest swells at the sound. She loves her family, but he has a special place in her heart. She turns around to face him, her own wooden sword at the ready. Stopping in his tracks, a smile graces his face, small at first. Growing it presses his rosy cheeks up and touches his eyes, alighting them. She loves him._

_He moves the sword from one hand to the other, his tongue sticking out slightly before charging at her. Giggling erupting from his mouth as she deflects his attack and spins to face him. The weight changes in her hand and she glances down at the real sword she now holds. She looks up as he runs at her once more. Desperately she tries to stop it but she can't, she never can. Her strike is always precise, always in the same place. She watches the surprised look on his face as his gaze falls on her sword then back up at her face. Confusion. Betrayal. Her heart breaks as she watches the light, that was so prominent before, leave his eyes._

_Oren._

Scarlet awoke, nightshirt soaked through with sweat, biting back the screams that tried escape her lips. She couldn't breathe. Throwing her furs off her she sat up, head on her knees. She willed herself to calm down, her heart was beating so fast, she felt it threaten to break free from her chest, Tears spilling from her eyes. Breathe. She told herself. Breathe.

She was exhausted. This happened nightly and she could almost never fall back asleep afterwards. Was this nightmare destined to haunt her forever? Her throat tightened, nails digging into her legs hard. Was she drawing blood? She didn't care. She rocked back and forth, willing air into her lungs.

The faint sound of music reached her ears. The strumming of strings sang to her, humming whispering softly into the night. She stopped rocking and listened. The tears stopped as the notes caressed her ears, soothing her like nothing else has been able to. It freed her from her suffocation.

She breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this chapter.


	10. Redcliffe

Dense fog gathered on the road. Over a small hill, nestled in a valley, lay an abandoned and desolate village. Redcliffe village. It was bitterly cold. The group stood looking out across the road as the fog slowly crept it's way out from the village; tendrils, like fingers, clawed their way closer, quickly smothering it from view. An afternoon chill descended upon the surrounding hills. The village was distant, quiet as they quickly worked their way towards it.

Their guide had stopped them and pleaded for help, his eyes wide with fear as he told them the village has been under attack and now they followed. The sky had darkened as they approached from afar; it had only taken a few minutes even though Leliana's ragged breath suggested otherwise. The spiked shadows of Redcliffe castle loomed over them. They stood at the start of a gravel road that cut it's way through the heart of the village. Small cottage like houses intermingled with the odd store lined each side of the gravel track, as the chantry rose up in the distance. The silence was deafening, interminable, restless. The insurmountable stench of rotting waste and wood engulfed the air. Nauseated, they rushed down the gravely street towards the place of worship.

xxxxxxx

They were not far from Redcliffe now. Leliana was making dinner, she had managed to fell two rabbits when she had gone hunting earlier. Alistair was pacing the camp, the constant thud of his boots back and forth made the Orlesians teeth grind together. She opened her mouth to tell him to stop.

"Will you fucking stop that?!" His fellow Warden shouted from her spot by the fire. She had her daggers out, sharpening them to a razor's edge, she didn't look up but she had stopped what she was doing. The older Warden sighed and slumped to the ground "King Maric was my father," he stated, scratching his chin." Which made Cailin my half brother I suppose."

xxxxxx

A wall of overwhelming scent hit Leliana, piles of rubbish resembled rotting animal carcasses onto which thousands of flies were drawn to, like a beacon of light. The sky was navy blue as the sun started to sink beneath the horizon. A noise came from one of the cottages, Scarlet held her hand up and pointed, motioning for them to investigate. She opened the door with a creak. A pungent odour filled Leliana's nostrils mixed in with a whiff of stale mold that shriveled her taste buds. The door directly opened into a small sitting room. Layer upon layer of dust lined every inch of the room, hiding the layers of secrets and darkness whilst cobwebs infested every corner like a chronic disease. The furniture veiled the sofas like a dress; ants were crawling, scrounging, searching for everything and anything, scurrying past them out into freedom.

"People have been too scared to live in their homes for a while." Their guide said as they turned to him. Feeling queasy, they left this spider infested hole and moved away from the dark cottages and continued towards the chantry.

xxxxx

"You're next in line for the Throne of Ferelden?" The younger Warden seemed more amused than angry going by the smirk on her face.

"No!… Yes, technically... But I don't want it, I've never wanted it." He addressed them all in earnest. His arms were spread out wide waiting for a response, which turned out to be a snort of laughter from Scarlet " So you're not just a bastard but a Royal bastard."

"Funny. You're funny," Alistair sighed as he let his arms drop to his sides. "I know I should have said something sooner but to be honest, I was hoping to avoid the subject altogether. I was... Inconvenient, a possible threat to Cailin's rule so they kept me secret. I've never spoken about it ... To anyone." The older Warden was the picture of dejection.

Scarlet got up and moved to sit beside her him, wrapping her arm around his shoulders, giving him a small comfort that he need in this moment. Leliana's heart plunged, she busied herself with dinner, trying to ignore the ache in her chest.

xxxxx

The village looked relatively small, cradled in the arms of the surrounding hills. Leliana and her companions stood, shivering until night lay with them and the moon struggled to penetrate the fog masking them. The leaves were unyielding, hanging on firm in the sudden chill that succeeded sunset. The sounds of unseen creatures and the sound of the creeping dead chilled her to the bone as she slowly breathed in the dark mustiness, the earth laden chill filled by nostrils, burning her insides. Darkness had fully set in now, only the waning glimmer of light from the moon illuminated their path to where the onslaught would begin.

The undead stalked towards them and Leliana was unable to peel her eyes away from their ghastly towering features. Their face was sunken in, eyes unfocused. Mouths twitched and drooled as if craving for something, anything, them. The smell of their rotting face made her stomach churn and it was all Leliana could do not to vomit then and there. Nails were dark and bloody, but she wasn't sure if it was their own blood dripping from them. Finally, she saw their gross discoloured skin close enough to see that it was falling apart. It was falling away from their muscles, their bones. She saw everything that she never wanted to see. In that instant, somehow, her body found itself, discovered how to move again. She readied her daggers, her bow would be no good in this fog. The Orlesian adjusted her stance to allow for close quarter combat as the undead stalked towards them.

xxxxx

Connor was an abomination, it had been the Arl's son who had sent the undead to attack the village or the demon holding him hostage rather. Scarlet wanted to scream, Alistair demanded she helped the boy without hurting him while Morrigan had callously stated that killing him would be the swiftest and easiest of options.

She sent Alistair and Sten to the circle to retrieve the mages, they would need their help to end this madness without spilling his blood, which she was categorically not prepared to do. She would never forgive herself. Yes, he allowed a demon to possess him but he felt he had to to save his father. If that option had been open to her a few short weeks ago she's not sure she could have resisted either.

She had other things to worry about as well. Leliana had been injured. Scarlet ran her fingertips along the door frame, letting her forehead drop against it. Wynne and Morrigan were in with the Orlesian now. Punching the wall she moved over to the window, watching the smoke spiral and disappear into the sky. Sighing, she sat on the windowsill and let her head drop to her hands, it seems like, lately, everyone who is close to her ends up dead or dying. Curling her fingers painfully into her hair as she remembered her stupid mistake that caused it.

They used the secret escape tunnel to get behind the castle walls, fought a few undead in the lead up to the castle, releasing a mage named Jowan, who had been tutoring the boy in secret. The Arlessa didn't want her son to be taken to the circle, so she hired an apostate to teach him, only for the apostate to poison the Arl under Lohgain's orders. The whole thing was a shitstorm, everyone had an opinion on what to do with the mage but it had been Leliana's counsel that had swayed her.

"Everyone deserves a chance to redeem themselves in the Maker's eyes; this man no less than any."

The entreaty in those soft cerulean eyes had moved Scarlet, she felt there was more to why Leliana believed this other than the mage before them. She nodded to her fellow redhead and the small smile she received in return made her blush to her roots, she turned quickly, trying to ignore the gleam in the Orlesians eye as she did.

_What the fuck is happening to me? How does she do that?_

Scarlet had let the mage go to make amends however he could. They had moved on to the courtyard where they had fought even more undead, they seemed to be never ending and she and her companions were beginning to tire. Everyone had sweat running down their foreheads as they climbed the steps to the castle, but they had fought well, only incuring minor injuries, nothing Wynne couldn't take care of.

Now it had gotten weird if it wasn't already before. Bann Teagan, the leader of the militia, was rolling around doing backflips for an excited Connor. They all just stood for a moment taking in the sight before them.

"What... What the fuck is going on?"

"So these are the ones who defeated my soldiers, mother? A cold menacing voice slithered from the young boy sending a shiver down Scarlet's spine.

"Connor, please," a sob tore from the Arlessa as she sank to her knees beside her son, her eyes darting between him and the Wardens, pleading.

It quickly became apparent that Connor had been possessed by a demon, he had broken through at one point but was overpowered easily, the demon seemed to be enjoying the effect it was having on everyone, it hadn't attacked them immediately rather walked back and forth a cold dead stare levelled at all of them.

"Your existence is an affront to the Maker," Leliana stepped forward, holding the demon's gaze, her voice was calm, her posture strong. Scarlet watched the exchange quietly.

The smirk that crawled across the young boy's face was hideous, his face contorted in a way that no child's ever should.

"The Maker." He snorted. "You gullible fool, hiding behind your false God. I could give you what you seek. Hmm, redemption? Perfection?" His eyes roamed over the Orlesian before locking eyes with her once more. The offer lingered between them, Scarlet didn't know what he meant but Leliana seemed to understand, her eyes had dropped to the floor briefly before she straightened herself again.

"Never. You foul thing, you will not tempt me from the Maker's path, demon," Leliana narrowed her eyes and squared her jaw, she would not be enticed.

"Maybe," Connor's sneer reappeared, "Maybe I'll let the guards have you," He waved his hand and all the guards in the room moved forward. Leliana froze at the demons words, the colour drained from her face, the grip on her daggers had loosened slightly.

Scarlet squared up to the first guard, eyes quickly looking for the weak spots in the armour. She spun around as he swung his sword in a long arc, hoping to cut her in half. The Warden was too quick and buried her dagger in his neck.

He dropped to the floor clasping his neck as best he could with his gauntlets but bled out quickly. She turned to face the room, everyone was more than a match their opponent, Leliana, however, was struggling, the demon had shaken her.

The guard pressed the Orlesian hard, she was backing away from him without pressing any real advantage, she hadn't yet recovered her composure. The guard thrust his sword towards Leliana which she had barely deflected, he was quickly returning another lunge, she was going to get hurt. Scarlet watched all this in few seconds since she dropped her own adversary and decided to take action.

At the last second, she shoulder barged the Orlesian out the way, deflected his blow with one dagger, giving him a solid jab in the chest with the other. It did no damage merely ricocheted off his armour but it drew his attention to her, which is exactly what she wanted.

"Try me, fucker," The young Warden taunted him, his eyes narrowed through the gap in his helmet and she adjusted her stance as she waited for him to swing. When it happened he let out an almighty grunt as he raised the sword. Scarlet dropped and spun, sticking her leg out, she caught the guard on the back of the legs and knocked him onto his back, she quickly thrust one of her daggers up under his helmet and through his chin, he weakly grabbed at her arm as his warm blood seeped over her hand. Scarlet waited until he had stopped moving before removing the dagger.

"Leliana, are you okay?" The Warden asked before turning around. The Orlesian was laying limp on the floor, blood pooling under her head, Scarlet dragged her eyes to the wall, a smattering of blood was on it. She had hit her head. She was beside her in an instant, rolling her over "Fuck."

"Wynne... Wynne, I need you here! Leliana's hurt!"

Now she waited while Wynne and Morrigan healed Leliana, why was she so impulsive? Surely there was a better way to deal with the situation? She didn't want her getting hurt and instead hurt her herself, Andraste's tits she was an idiot, she pulled on her hair some more before dropping her head back against the window.

The door creaked open, Scarlet moved quickly to meet the mages as they emerged.

"She'll be fine, child," Wynne said, resting her hand on her shoulder, Scarlet meekly nodded her response, she didn't know what to say, what could she say?

"T'would be good if you injured our enemies and not our allies, hmm? Morrigan raised an eyebrow before heading down the hallway. She could only hang her head in shame, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Don't worry, child. You did what you thought was best," Wynne gave her a reassuring smile but she shook her head.

"No, I made a mistake. How can I expect people to follow my lead when I'm throwing them into walls," The Warden moved into the doorway, Leliana was laying on the bed, she looked oddly peaceful.

"I'll stay with her tonight, I need to make sure she's okay."

Wynne didn't argue, she knew Scarlet wouldn't take no for an answer, knew she needed to do this.

"Come get me when she wakes," The older mage, gave her shoulder one last squeeze before following Morrigan down the hallway.

Scarlet closed the door and sank into the chair beside the bed, it was a rather large bed with four posters and huge pillows, Leliana looked tiny laying in it, which only served to make the Warden feel worse than she already did. Picking up her hand she brought it to her face to place a gentle kiss, whispering.

"I'm so sorry."

xxxxx

Leliana woke up to a throbbing pain in her head. Wincing, she shut her eyes tight for a moment, trying to remember what had happened. Where was she?

Redcliffe. The demon. She couldn't remember what happened after the guards had attacked them. She did remember freezing up. Groaning she tried to lift her hand to feel the back of her head, to check how bad it was.

Someone had a soft grip on her hand, she managed to raise her head a little and look down. Scarlet was sleeping in the chair, her head resting on the bed beside Leliana, their hands clasped and she smiled a little to herself.

The Warden was facing her, her red hair tumbled across her face as she dreamt. Leliana reluctantly pulled her hand free slowly and shifted ever so slightly so she could see her more clearly. She really was beautiful, her worries and regrets that usually etched her features were gone. Here like this, she was just the young woman she was supposed to be, without the burden of her calling weighing her down.

Leliana couldn't help it, she used her fingers move the her hair from her face and place it behind her ear, letting her fingertips caress the smooth skin of her cheek. Fire danced along her nerves and down her spine, she stroked her hair for some time, enjoying the silky smoothness of crimson tresses.

When the Warden didn't wake she dared to cup her chin using her thumb to graze over her cheek once more. Leliana's eyes were suddenly full, she fought them back. She didn't understand how she felt this way, but she had felt this mysterious connection to this woman since they first met. A connection that seemed to be one way. She would never know her like she wanted to, never feel her lips against hers. Never feel her caress against her own skin. Her damaged skin. She stopped fighting and let the tears silently fall as she let her hand roam over that sweet face.

Scarlet snorted in her sleep and she couldn't help but giggle, it was such an adorable sound. The Warden shifted and began to sit up, the Orlesian unwillingly let her hand drop to the bed as she groggily regained her senses.

"You're awake!" The Warden shrieked before throwing herself at Leliana, wrapping her arms around her neck. She returned the hug with fervor, holding on tight, gripping Scarlet's tunic, even though she thought her head might explode. Leaning into the embrace, her nostrils filled with leather, sweat and dried blood from her exertions earlier but Leliana didn't care.

"I'm so sorry." The Warden said when they eventually parted. She looked ashamed, her eyes were on the floor, her posture was small.

Leliana took her hand again. "Why would you need to be sorry?"

"I did that to you," She blurted out, their eyes finally meeting. "I... I thought you were going to get hurt, you didn't seem like yourself, I pushed you out the way and head first into a fucking wall."

She made to get up but Leliana, held fast her hand. "You were right, I wasn't myself. The demon got to me and it shouldn't have. Maker only knows what would have happened if you hadn't acted. I could be dead, yes? Please, no more blaming yourself. Now come here," She opened her arms.

Scarlet nodded and rather more gently fell into the embrace, kissing Leliana gently on the cheek, sending shivers down the Orlesians spine once more, as she pulled away.

"I need to get Wynne, she wanted me to come for her once you awoke," The Warden moved to the door, glancing back with that small smile that always made Leliana reciprocate before leaving to find the mage.

Leliana sagged back into the bed, hope had sparked somewhere inside of her during their embrace, it was tiny but it was more than she'd had for a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry about the delay with this chapter, I've had a lot going on lately, including spinal surgery and I'm not gonna lie Fallout :) I'm doing a lot better now and hope to make regular updates.  
> I really need to thank NattyWright for being really supportive and helping me get this finished, you're awesome. Go read her stuff.


	11. Unexpected Friend

Leliana woke the next morning, her eyes immediately scanning the room looking for Scarlet. The walls of the room were rough-hewn stone. A bed, three bookshelves, an armour rack, and a chest adorn the room. A red carpet spans the room, lit by a chandelier set in the ceiling. Light lazily drifted through a small gap in the heavy drapes. She couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment when she found the room empty, she had been hoping to find her there, the small amount of time they had spent together last night had made her heart soar and she wanted more of it. If she was to get closer to the Warden then she would have, to be honest. It was no less than she deserved but that meant revealing her past which gave her pause. What if she rejected her? What if she rejected her? After all, everyone else she had gotten close to cast her aside. What if the Warden was no different?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a few small knocks to the door. She glanced at it hopefully, sitting up and fixing her hair quickly.

"Come in."

The door opened and in walked, not Scarlet or any of her other companions for that matter, but an elf. She was tall for an elf, her frame slender as was common among the elven with skin that looked like it had been carved from ivory. A beautifully carved bow hung from her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I was told Scarlet Cousland would be here. I... I've been looking for her," She said, eyes scanning the room as the Orlesians had done moments before. Leliana's now snapped to her face.

Purple vallaslin started at the bridge of her nose then spread out across her forehead like branches stretching from a tree. Dalish. Her hair was light brown, tied back loosely into a ponytail, strands stubbornly hung in front of her ears, framing her face. Her ears were rather large and one stuck our more predominantly than the other.

"Creators, where are my manners? My name is Asahartha, Scarlet is my friend, I've been very worried about her," The elf walked over to her and offered her hand which Leliana took. A small smile graced her lips, two front teeth jutting out slightly. Deep deep green eyes that faded to amber locked with the Orlesians as they shook hands. She was beautiful.

"My name is Leliana, you are welcome to wait until she returns, I'm sure she won't be long."

"Thank you," The elf said, removing her bow. Asahartha walked to the window, placing her hands on the drapes, she glanced back at Leliana, fingers curling around the thick wool, a question in her eyes. Leliana nodded. The elf pulled the drapes apart and Light invaded the room causing her to shield her eyes. The elf took a seat by the window, waiting.

Xxxxxxxx

The markings of violence were etched into the cold stone of the floor. Scarlets footsteps echoed against the walls, shattering the omnipresent silence. As she walked forward, she could smell the fear that'd been haunting the inhabitants of the castle, noticing the drops of blood staining some of the ancient paintings.

The Arl was laying on the bed when the Warden entered his room with Wynne, the sheets were soaked in his sweat, Scarlet didn't think he had long left... His cheeks were pale and gaunt, his hair ragged. Death would be a mercy at this point it seemed.

"Absolutely not, I won't have any more mages near him, they're the reason he's ill," Isolde screeched and Scarlet could see this spoiled brat barely hold back from stamping her foot. The Warden had been trying to convince her to let Wynne look over him but she was being impossible and Scarlet was beginning to lose her patience. She just wanted to get back to Leliana, she had spent all night by the Orlesian's side and she wanted to be there when she woke up.

Scarlet had never liked her. Growing up a noble they would meet up often at events and the woman just rubbed her the wrong way. She was so entitled. She would make a show if the Arl was paying more attention to other people, would sneer at Fereldan customs and sulk if she didn't get her own way. It had been a couple years since she'd last seen her but it appeared not even having a child had made this Orlesian gain some humility.

"Actually, he's in this condition because you tried to hide your son's magical ability and didn't want to send Connor to the circle which allowed him to become possessed by a demon. "Scarlet said flatly. "Wynne is a healer and a damn good one, just let her look over the Arl, maybe she can help."

The Warden watched the conflicting emotions rage across the Arlessa's face before she yielded, nodding, she allowed the circle mage to look at her husband.

Blue light pulsed from Wynne's hands as she ran them parallel to the Arl's body, This went on for few minutes before the mage pull her hands back, looking at Scarlet she shook her head.

"There's nothing I can do, dear."

"Would it help if I brought Morrigan here? Maybe the both of y-"

"There's no magic I know of which would save the Arl," Wynne interrupted her. "She's had her nose in that... Book since the tower and it's yielded nothing that would be of assistance."

Their eyes met for a second and Scarlet could tell Wynne was disappointed in her for giving Morrigan the grimoire.

"Then it's hopeless." The Warden said dejected, "Thank you for trying."

Scarlet slumped into a nearby chair, they needed the Arl, needed his support in the fight against Loghain. All was lost. They couldn't fight the blight and the Teryn on their own, it was impossible.

"It is not hopeless, there is still a chance my husband can be saved."

Scarlet glanced up, Isolde was now standing in front of her, arms crossed over her chest. She was glaring down at the Warden, a mixture of sadness and defiance in her eyes that garnered some compassion from her and she softened somewhat.

"How?" She asked wearily, "What else can be done?"

"I agree," Wynne said softly, she went to rest a reassuring hand on the Arlessa's shoulder but thought better of it. "No magic can cure him, even if the demon dies, the Arl will remain as he is."

"No! The ashes can save him."

"What ashes?" Scarlet leaned forward in her chair, blue eyes fixed on brown.

"The ashes of Andraste."

xxxxxxxxx

"How do you know Scarlet?" Leliana asked, shifting in her bed to try and face the elf. It was a mistake she suddenly felt nauseous and her head began spinning. She reached for the water by her bed but lost her grip and the pitcher smashed on the floor.

"You should lay back down, you don't look so good." The elf glided from the windowsill, moving with effortless grace. She pressed Leliana back onto the bed. "Let me get that," kneeling down she began picking the shards up.

"Please, I can-"

A knock on the door interrupted Leliana, she glanced at Asahartha, the elf didn't react and carried on cleaning up the mess with her back to the door.

"Come in."

Scarlet entered, holding a tray of food. A small smile gracing her lips as her eyes met Leliana's before they shifted to the elf. Her brows furrowed then understanding rippled across her face.

"Asa! Asa, is that you?"

A grin appeared on the elf's face, her vallaslin wrinkling slightly, as she stood up turning to face the Warden. "Miss me?"

She had barely finished the question before the Warden had placed the tray on a nearby table and strode across the room and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug which she returned just as fiercely. Leliana watched for a moment before turning her head slightly feeling she was intruding on a private moment.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were with the Dalish." The Warden was now holding the elf at arms length, taking her in like the elf was water and she was dying of thirst. A small knot sat in Leliana's stomach. Were they lovers?

Scarlet's eyes finally rested on the vallaslin. "I guess you're all grown up now," she pinched the elf's cheek, who batted it away with feigned chagrin.

"Bugger off."

The Warden saw Leliana's furrowed brow, " Asa is my best friend, we grew up together in Highever." She sat on the bed next to Leliana, Asa taking the chair. Answering the question unasked. She then proceeded to tell a story of how when Asa was eight years old, she and her mother had gone to a nearby town to trade when bandits surrounded them on a road near the woods. The elf's mother managed to kill two of them before they injured her. Scarlet and her mother were travelling back to Highever with some soldiers. They fought off the bandits but it was too late to save Asa's mother, Nehna, she died from her wounds shortly after. Leaving the terrified young elf all alone. Scarlet's mother, Eleanor, brought her home and she was raised with The Warden and Fergus causing quite the scandal among the other nobles.

"We were pretty much inseparable until last year when she went off on her own to find the Dalish." Scarlet finished.

Leliana listened to the story with fervor. The Warden hadn't opened up about her family since the circle and to hear her speak with joy and not sadness made the Orlesians heart melt. She loved seeing her like this.

"How did you know I was here?" The Warden asked after a moments silence.

"I... I got wind of what happened at Highever," The elf's dropped her gaze to the floor, "I was trading with some merchants on the road and they said they had to change their normal route because Highever had been attacked and taken over by Rendon Howe. I was confused, He was a friend of your fathers."

She stood up and started pacing the room, "I had to find out what happened I went back but it was Howe's men in who was standing guard on the castle. I went to the market, some people recognised me and told me what happened."

Stopping at the window, she stared out, "I had to come find you I thought Redcliffe would be a good place to start."

They talked for a long time, telling their story. Scarlet told them about how she joined the Grey Wardens that Duncan had promised her dying father he would take her to safety if he agreed to let his daughter join the Wardens. Which outraged both Asa and Leliana but the Warden calmed them. Duncan had done what was best for the order.

Asa told a story of wandering the forest in search of the Dalish for many weeks before they found her. Eleanor was one of the best archers around and she had gladly taught Asa how to shoot when her own children showed no interest in learning. She was able to help the clan and learn her mothers ways before finally earning her vallaslin and taking her place back with the Dalish. Until she asked permission to leave to find Scarlet.

"So, when will you be going back to the Dalish?" The Warden asked, trying to hide her disappointment but she fooled no one.

"When this archdemon is taken care of," Asa said grinning, and she was again pulled into another hug.

The silence was broken by Leliana's stomach growling, she hadn't eaten for nearly two days and now it was protesting rather loudly.

"Food!" Scarlet exclaimed, running over to the tray of food she'd brought in earlier.


	12. A past regretted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a slight warning that torture and rape are alluded to in this chapter but nothing too graphic.

_Two cloaked figures travel quickly across cobbled streets barely making a sound. Slight scuffs of boots on stone and fabric caught in the breeze is scarcely heard over Leliana's own breath. The street is dark, just how they like it. It is best if their mark does not see them coming, striking from the unknown is what they do best, whether it be from shadows or plain sight._

_Buildings loom over them, Val Royeaux is the jewel of Orlais, the opulence and nobleness of the city lingered even in the dead of night. The capital is a fairytale of its own, with the millions of unbelievable stories running through its veins. Leliana glanced ahead to see the Grand cathedral in the distance, the pulsing heart of the city. Always watching over its people. Protecting them. She wasn't a religious person but she always felt drawn towards the Cathedral, it calmed her to look upon it and she needed that tonight because this whole venture felt unsound._

_She trusted Marjolaine, her mentor and lover but she just couldn't shake this feeling of unease. She clenched her teeth she had no reason to feel this way. The redhead had been with Marjolaine since the age of sixteen, the older woman teaching her everything she knew about the bardic arts, how to use a bow, how to seduce, how to... Kill. The Orlesian shook her head and caught up with her lover._

_The bard master turned towards her and Leliana couldn't help but think how beautiful she was. Her curves sat well on her thin body, she looked like she could have been sculpted from ivory itself. When she broke into a smile her pearly white teeth shocked you when that smile gave you her full attention. Filled to perfection, her fingernails ran through chestnut brown hair. Spools of it plunged around her face and hid her elegant neck. Leliana loved her grey eyes, soft and inviting as they gazed upon her. Her soft lips that tasted like cherry whispered in a dulcet voice as sweet as any songbird._

_"Nearly there, my pet, then all will be revealed."_

_They turned a corner into a street that was steep and crooked. The higher they climbed the worst Leliana's unease grew, she glanced behind every few seconds. The shadows crept ever closer together until the darkness almost enveloped them both._

_Hushed voices in the distance caught the red heads attention and her hand tightened on the hilt of her dagger but the bardmaster place her hand on Leliana's wrist and shook her head. Weapons would not be needed. They approached a small group of six people. Moonlight glinting off armour caught her attention. Were these Chevaliers? Why would Marjolaine have a meeting with the Orlesian soldiers?_

_Leliana moved closer to the bardmaster as the Chevaliers surrounded them. One with a rather large purple feather on his helmet stepped forward._

_"Is this her?" gesturing in Leliana's direction, the bard's brow furrowed as she gripped Marjolaine's elbow looking between him and her lover._

_"This is her. This is the traitor." Marjolaine ripped her arm away from Leliana and moved in front of her. Those grey eyes she loved so much held nothing recognisable, they were empty. Dead. A sudden flash of silver and before she could react a sharp pain in her abdomen and the redhead cried out before slumping to the floor, her hand pressing on the wound but blood spilled black in the moonlight as it seeped through her fingers._

_Tears rolled down her cheeks as the pain continued to torment her, she tried to choke back a sob but failed. Why would Marjolaine do this? Leliana couldn't understand, she loved the bardmaster more than anything, it doesn't make any sense._

_"Shhh, my pretty thing, shhh."_

_Marjolaine crouched down beside her, fingers running through her hair like she did when they lay in bed together but her eyes held none of the warmth of those moments._

_"One you started to question, it was only a matter of time before you would betray me. It's what I would have done. So I did it first," Marjolaine whispered into Leliana's ear, her voice dripping venom before getting to her feet and turning towards the Captain._

_"She's all yours." The Captain placed a large sack of coin in her hand and Marjolaine walked away from her without a backwards glance._

_Leliana tried to call after her but could only scream as she tried to move, the wound was deep and searing pain shot through her body._

_The redhead couldn't understand why, why would her lover betray her so?_

_"Pick the traitor up." The Captain commanded. Hands grabbed at her without care and she shrieked as they tried to stand her on her feet._

_"W..Why are... You doing this?" She managed to stutter out, her teeth clenched together trying to bite back more screams. Sweat began to bead on her forehead as she staggered._

_"Selling Orlesian secrets to other countries is a capital offence, there's a special place in the dungeons for people like you," He spat the words at her like she was worthless. "And we have proof."_

_He held the parchment in front of her face. Leliana recognised it straight away. It was the papers she'd stole for Marjolaine a few weeks back. They were evidence that the bardmaster was committing treason except now they had been forged with Leliana's name on them._

_The bard looked up and opened her mouth to protest but was met with a gauntleted fist coming at her face. Everything went black._

Leliana glanced up at Scarlet for a moment and back down to the bed. Her chest tightened as tears fought free and escaped down her cheek. She couldn't look her in the eye, she was ashamed of her past. Here was this young girl with the hope of a nation on her shoulders out here trying to find a way to defeat an archdemon and when Leliana was her age she was seducing and killing people for money and the approval of someone who betrayed her in the worst way possible. Surely the Wardens would want nothing to do with her now.

"It's OK."

She felt the Warden pick up her hand and intertwine their fingers. It was such a simple gesture but it meant the world to her. She wasn't going to be rejected again, Scarlet wasn't going to send her away. She felt the Wardens thumb slowly caress her hand and her heart thundered in her chest. She finally looked up and into those cerulean eyes. All that was in them was worry and sympathy. No judgement.

"I'm sorry you went through that," The Wardens' voice was soft, "Please continue."

_Leliana had been here for what seemed like years but in reality was probably only a few months, she could not escape the endless, darkened wait to freedom. Laying naked in the corner of the chilled room, She can see the sharp corners at each edge of the room. The walls, made from stone many years ago, connecting each corner forming a perfectly shaped square room. The markings on each of the four walls carries a burden of memories where people drawing closer and closer to their death had been scratching at the walls. Looking up from the corner of the cell, the light flickers as many moths flutter around it finding the only hope and light that is left in the prison. A small barred window sat, teasing a freedom that would never come. No traitor left the dungeons alive._

_Her wound had been halfheartedly stitched, why waste resources when she would die soon anyway. At first, Leliana had wondered why they just didn't let her bleed out. She soon found out._

_A few days after her arrival they came for her. She was weak, they hadn't given her any food or water. No one came to see her, no guards. She was convinced they had forgotten about her and she would die alone. Abandoned again._

_When the guards finally showed up the Orlesian was almost glad to see them but that quickly evaporated as she was roughly dragged, too weak to fight she let them. She was taken to another room and thrown onto a table with two pairs of metal cuffs attached to it. One pair to restrain someone's hands and the other their feet._

_Leliana was bent over the table and locked into the cuffs, her legs spread. The guards hadn't spoken a word to her since they came to collect her._

_"W... Water."_

_The bard's mouth was dry and her lips had cracked from the lack of moisture but they ignored her and slammed the door closed behind them as they left. She was alone with anticipation of what was to come._

_Leliana tried to pry her hands free from their restraints but they were locked in tight and she only succeeded in opening cuts on her wrists. Shallow breaths escaped her lips as her chest tightened. She's heard stories of what happened in the dungeons and she couldn't let that happen, so she tried harder. Blood trickled down over her balled fist as she tried to free herself. A sob she was choking back broke free and tears streamed down her face._

_It was useless, even if she freed herself she was still in a locked room. She let herself go limp and whimpered into the wood. Whatever energy she had had now been expended, she could do nothing more than wait._

_All the prisoners know it is time for another to walk the mile. And soon after the unlucky prisoner leaving the smell of burning flesh fills the halls and proves to everyone that there will be no escape. What little air has managed to find it way into the cell and failed to escape is overtaken by the revolting smells. And so it began again; the walls began to close, coming closer, much closer as the days passed by. The bells rang twelve times, the guard walked past, the marks on the walls told their stories, the bed was too small to sleep in, the speckles of blood showed the end of past lives and the people in the window in the wall enjoyed their lives in freedom. Leliana glanced out that window at the tall spire of the Grand Cathedral which sat taunting her before looking away sharply. How could she ever believe that she had been drawn to that building, that it watched over them._

_She tried to ignore the searing pain along her back, buttocks, ribs and thighs. They had cut her with knives, burned her skin with hot iron and whipped her until her skin was shredded. They let it heal just enough before the torment started all over again. Her throat was raw from always crying, always screaming, always pleading but it fell on deaf ears. They were ruthless, monsters. Taking delight in causing pain in others._

_That wasn't even the worst part. The Orlesian pressed her face into the threadbare mattress as she remembered how they violated her over and over. Forced her as they laughed and took turns. She screamed over and over that Marjolaine was the traitor but they didn't care. It had been a few days since they last came for her, they would return soon and she would go through everything again unwillingly._

_The slow scrape of a key turning in a rusty lock and Leliana pushed herself as far into the corner as she could, with her skin barely holding together and still open in some places, her body was aflame with every move she made._

_A cloaked figure approached her. "No no no," Leliana cried as they drew closer, her body was trembling. Why didn't they just kill her she thought. She hoped._

_"Be quiet, child. We don't have much time, I'm here to help free you." The cloak was lowered and crouched beside her wasn't one of her captures but a middle aged woman. Brown eyes found blue, the warmth in them overwhelmed the bard and she threw herself into the older woman's arms as much as her injuries would let her._

_"Why? Why are you doing this? You don't know me, who are you?" Leliana sobbed into the older woman's shoulder._

_"It is worse than losing them to death isn't it? When the one closest to you is untrue. I'm a friend, I can help but you must find your resolve. You're scarred, inside and out. Marjolaine is adept in striking where you are most vulnerable. Believe me, I know. Others need you, even when you're at your lowest. And that is a source of strength I cannot describe." The older woman's voice was soft and the bard held her gaze for a moment before nodding._

_"Then let's be off, quickly now."_

Leliana shifted on the bed, her grip still tight on the Wardens. She didn't want to let go, it was her anchor to the present. She hated letting herself remember that time in her life, her nightmares lured her there often. Most night as a matter of fact. She refused to dwell on them in her waking hours but the Warden deserved to know the truth.

"I was smuggled outside to the yard and hidden in a cart amongst the dead which was being taken by the Chantry to be laid to rest. The woman that saved me was a Mother who looked after me for a few weeks but Orlais was no longer safe for me, I had to get out the country. Once I was fit to travel Mother Dorothea booked passage for me to come to Fereldan and stay in a Chantry which turned out to be Lothering."

Scarlet's gripped tightened slightly but she didn't say a word, letting the bard finish. Leliana couldn't help but noticed her thumb was still caressing her hand. The Orlesian took a deep breath and continued.

"I planned to only stay a month or two before I set off on my own but I found peace in the Maker and decided to stay and repent for all the harm I'd caused in my life as a bard. The Maker wanted me to help you. That's the truth... About me." Leliana turned her head away trying to fight the shame that was rising within.

"Thank you for trusting me." The Warden said before letting go of the bard's hand and pulling her into a tight hug.

"No one will touch you again," The words were whispered into her ear and Leliana sighed, a breath she didn't know she was holding escaped her lips. She didn't realise how much she needed to hear. The Warden didn't release her so Leliana savoured the closeness she hasn't had with anyone for a long time.

A knock at the door finally caused the pair to part, a lingering look as the sky met the ocean. Another knock.

The Warden opened the door. "Your friend is back with the mages," she stepped inside the room. "They are asking for you," Her eyes darted between the two women before she glided across the room and into the seat vacated by Scarlet.

"I'll stay here, try not to kill yourself," The elf smirked, stretching as she got comfortable in the chair. Setting her bow down within arms reach. "I'll do my very best not to disappoint you," The Warden curtseyed. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Leliana watched her go, her heart hammering in her chest. _Maker watch over her_. The bard turned to Asa only to find the same smirk greet her.

"You like her, don't you?"

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Andraste's tits. The whole situation was fucked up, they needed someone to go into the fade and fight the demon there. First Enchanter Irving was still too weak from the Circle shitstorm to go in, it was a miracle he managed to travel to Redcliffe in the first place. The Warden didn't need his old arse dying on her watch and the Templars to make a power grab. They would need all the mages they could get to fight the Archdemon.

Wynne was still tending to the Arl, although she couldn't bring him back from the fade she was doing pretty much everything else to keep him comfortable. Scarlet needed her if this went tits up. That left her with two choices, Jowan or Morrigan.

She didn't trust Jowan, he was the one that poisoned the Arl in the first place. There's no way she could send him into the fade.

That left Morrigan, the witch wasn't going to like it but they had become friends somewhat after Scarlet had given her her mother's grimoire. It was her only option.

"Morrigan, can I have a word?" The witch turned to her crossing her arms over her chest, causing her breasts to become even more on show in her barely there outfit. The Warden snapped her eyes up to meet amber with a knowing glint, she felt the redness creep up her neck onto her cheeks.

The witch grinned. "You need me to go into the fade." She let her arms drop as she reached from her staff.

"You'll do it?" Scarlet couldn't believe her luck, maybe something will actually go smoothly for a change.

"In exchange for something, yes" Morrigan moved and stood in front of the Warden. "We both know I'm not the most agreeable person-" Understatement. "I shall do this in return for something. A favour for a favour if you will."

"What do you want, Morrigan?

"I want you to kill my mother, I want you to kill Flemeth."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a dumbass, I forgot to thank NattyWright for helping out my elf OC in the last chapter. I mean she did name her.


	13. The Naked Truth

Morrigan was resting. The fight with the demon had taken it's toll on her mana and she needed to recover for a time to get her strength back. The mages from Redcliffe performed the ritual and the demon was purged from young Connor. The boy seemed back to normal and has no recollection of the demon that possessed him for which Scarlet was thankful, he didn't need those memories. As soon as the mage was able they would leave for Denerim, Isolde told them that from her own inquiries she had found out that a Brother Genitivi knows how to find the ashes of Andraste. They needed them as the Arl had failed to wake even with the demon no longer holding him.

It would be a day before the witch would be healthy enough. Leliana only had a minor headache now and could travel, Scarlet scolded herself again for injuring the Orlesian, she had to be less reckless or more people could get hurt.

The Warden flopped down onto her bed and pondered the discussion she had with Morrigan before the witch entered the fade. How the fuck was she supposed to kill Flemeth? The woman was legendary. Morrigan insisted her mother was mortal and could be killed but she would be putting people in danger if they fought her, after just scolding herself for being too reckless before. "Fuck it," she mumbled as she rolled over and tried to get some sleep, she didn't have to think about it now.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Leliana shifted in the sheets of her bed, trying to savour the feathery feel of it. They would be leaving this morning and she likely wouldn't be sleeping in a bed for some time. Sighing, she got up and moved to the window, pulling the heavy drapes apart.

Down in the courtyard, Scarlet was standing with her arm around Asa's shoulders. They were laughing rather hard at something, the Wardens eyes danced with delight as the elf whispered in her ear. Leliana's didn't know what to make of it, Asa had questioned her about her feelings towards the young Warden a few days ago. The bard brushed it aside claiming she was only helping Scarlet with her fight against the blight. The elf didn't look convinced but let the subject drop.

She got dressed and gathered her things, joining the rest of her companions in the courtyard a few minutes later. The Arlessa, wanting to cure her husband as quick as possible, had given them seven of Redcliffe's best horses.

Horsemaster Dennet brought them around from the stable. He handed the reigns of a huge black horse to Sten. "Imperial Warmblood. He won't be winning any races but will have no problem carrying one as large as you for extended periods."

The Qunari walked around the animal, it was in excellent condition. His coat glistened in the sun, muscles rippling underneath and his mane soft as he whipped his head back.

"Yes. An excellent beast," The Qunari said, nodding to Dennet which the human returned.

They each got a horse, except for Morrigan, the witch had never learned how to ride and told them all quite bluntly that she had no intention of learning. She would shift into raven form once out of sight of the castle and fly to keep up with them.

Leliana's was smaller than Sten's. A Ferelden Forder, she was bright chestnut, with a white splash across the forehead, partially covered by a braid of ginger hair. Her eyes are a deep chocolate brown that didn't shy away from the bards gaze.

They were making good time, riding Northeast around Lake Calenhad. It would take a few weeks to reach Denerim, even longer had they not had the horses. Leliana rode in the middle of their procession, Scarlet was up front leading the way with Asa, Sten and Alistair had the rear. That left the bard with Zevran and Wynne.

The Antivan grated on Alistair but Leliana liked his company, his constant talk of bedding her aside. He was from her world and she understood his desire to break free from the crows. Although everyone was wary of the Assassin at first, he had fought fiercely beside them and was slowly gaining their trust.

"You think Asa would let me bed her?" The crow said out of the blue, his eyes watching the lithe form of the Dalish ahead of him.

"Zevran!" Wynne gasped.

"What? Leliana is refusing my offer and so is our fearless leader, a man had needs which Asa could fulfill if she is willing, I assure you it would be very enjoyable for her." The Antivan tore is eyes away from the elf's backside to look at the circle mage. "Unless you would be willing, my dear Wynne?" a smirk gracing his lips. Leliana tensed at hearing the elf had tried to bed Scarlet but let it wash away after a few seconds after realising nothing had happened. She would need to examine her feelings for the Warden and soon, trying to dismiss them wasn't working.

"I am old enough to be your mother, young man," Wynne replied, her cheeks turning a lovely shade of red.

"Ah, I'm terrible and it makes me so sad. May I rest my head on your bosom and cry?" Zevran's eyes lingered on the mage's chest a little too long.

"Must you be such a child?" Wynne replied before taking her horse to a canter to catch up to Scarlet.

"And you can cry well away from my bosom," She shouted over her shoulder, causing Scarlet and Asa to turn around, the Warden grinning from ear to ear.

"You are awful," Leliana laughed, "You enjoy making people uncomfortable, yes?"

Zevran's grin told her all she needed to know.

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They set up camp a little further south than they had been planning to travel. Scarlet was holding the reason why. Twirling, what looked like an average looking twig between her fingers she looked it over again for what seemed to be the hundredth time. The Warden still wasn't sure what she was letting her or her companions in for but if true it was too good an opportunity to pass up. A golem. The merchant they'd received the control rod from seemed relieved to be unburdened from it.

They were creatures of legend hewn from stone or metal. No one knew how they were made just that the Dwarves of Orzammar had them created to help fight during the first blight.

The Warden had discussed it with everyone, she didn't want to just command they take this detour especially with the Arl in such poor health. Everyone agreed it was worth a look.

"I would speak with you. In private."

Scarlet looked up to find Morrigan staring down at her before the witch strode off in the direction of her own camp without waiting for a response.

A groan escaped the Wardens lips before she stood up from her spot by the fire, answering Leliana's concerned look with a smile, the smile the bard returned had her blushing to her roots. She tripped over Wynne's bag of herbs but managed to get her feet under her quickly. Not quickly enough, she heard a chorus giggles from behind her as she walked off.

"Fuck off," She said loudly, glancing behind her briefly only for more laughter to erupt.

She had pondered the way Leliana made her feel a little but mostly tried to ignore it, she didn't understand it. She was a graceful fighter, quick, light on her feet with a mouth to match but some of the looks she got from the bard turned her into a stuttering buffoon.

The Warden put such thoughts aside as she stood over Morrigan who already had that damn grimoire open. Scarlet was starting to regret giving her the book, she spent all her free time consuming its pages.

"Sure. We can talk, anymore legendary mythical kin you have that you want me to kill? Maybe you're related to Fucking Mythal, do you want me to kill Mythal for you?"

"Are you quite finished?" The witch replied.

"Yes," Scarlet dropped to the floor beside the witch, peering back over to the campfire she saw that Leliana was not there. Probably having an early night, she had the last shift of the night watch.

"I have been studying mother's grimoire," Scarlets head snapped back to face the witch who was looking at the ground. "Really, I hadn't noticed." She replied sarcastically.

"Tis not what I expected. I had hoped for a collection of her spells, a map of the power that she commands but this is not it." Scarlet watched Morrigan's face as the witch talked, she was frightened.

"One thing in particular in her writings disturbed me, here in great detail Flemeth describes the means by which she has survived for centuries. She has raised many daughters over her long lifetime, there are stories of these many witches of the wilds throughout chasind legend. But I have never seen a one, I have always wondered why not." Morrigan fidgeted with the hem of her skirt as she spoke.

"And now I know," Amber eyes met Scarlet's for the first time since she had started talking. "They are all Flemeth when her body becomes old and wizened she raises a daughter and when the time is right she takes her daughter's body for her own."

"What the fuck?" Scarlet blurted out, if Morrigan wasn't adverse to jokes she would think this was one.

"There is only one possible response to this. Flemeth needs to die. I asked you at Redcliffe but I feel I should divulge the reasoning as to why."

"We'll get the bitch." The Warden had no idea how they would but she had to try. Morrigan merely nodded before retiring to her tent.

Scarlet grabbed a towel from her tent and headed down towards the water, a bath would help clear her head.

She ambled along the path. An unusual humming sound vibrated in the air. It sounded like a swarm of bees. Then the buzzing transferred to the rock beneath her feet. It travelled through her body and she felt a tingle that ran up to her fingertips. The Warden rounded the corner and the source of the sound revealed itself.

It was a waterfall. At this distance, it looked like silver tear tracks on the wrinkled face of the rock behind it. It plunged into the depths of an azure-tinted pool. As Scarlet began to get closer, the noise of the torrent increased. It was growling and rumbling. Then it foamed into a lather at the base. The water seemed to fuse itself into distinct threads of watery fabric as she approached.

The sound was raucous now. The spout was hitting the cavernous hollow of the pool like a thunderclap. It rushed down the rock, roiling and bubbling, boiling and churning. The pool fed two other smaller waterfalls, but they were not as deafening.

The Warden walked along the edge of the rocks, leaving the swollen noise of the large pool behind. The sounds changed to a gentler swirling. The two waterfalls streamed into one pool of bliss.

A tinkling sound was caused by the waters languid slickness echoing from the rock. The last rays of sun caught the water, giving it a trance-like quality. The drizzling spray created a hazy mystique above the pool, dazzling Scarlet with its beauty.

Movement from caught the Wardens attention, her hands flying to her her daggers.

Leliana emerged from the water, her back to her. Scarlet sucked in a breath as more of the bard's back was revealed.

Countless scars marred her alabaster skin but before the Warden could see any more, Leliana's head snapped around, eyes wide. A surprised squeak escaped her lips before she submerged herself under the water once more.

The Warden turned to leave but stopped short, she walked over to where Leliana's towel lay. The Orlesian had told her of the torture she had gone through at the hands of the chevaliers. Obviously she would be left with reminders. If Leliana saw her run away now it'll shame her even more. Scarlet wasn't about to let that happen.

Scarlet opened the bard's towel. "Leliana please come out the water."

She was crouched down with only her head out, eyes averted from the Wardens.

"You told me, quite bravely, what had happened to you. It wasn't your fault, there's no need to be ashamed." Scarlet shook the towel and turned her head away. Respecting her privacy.

A few seconds passed then a small tug and the towel was free from her hands.

"Thank you," Leliana said, barely more than a whisper.

The bard had wrapped the towel around herself and was now sitting on the ground by the pool. Small sniffs and hiccups told the Warden she was crying.

Scarlet sat beside her and immediately put her arm around Leliana's shoulders. The bard pressed her face into her tunic and sobbed.

"I've always hidden them," She finally spoke, "Afraid that someone would see. They would know I was a prisoner and judge me, turn me over to the guards." A faint tremor in her voice. She hesitated for a moment then twisted, dropping the towel from her shoulders, baring her back to Scarlet.

Jagged lines were drawn on her skin, too many to count. Some thin that were obviously knives. Some thicker where the skin had been peeled back by whips. There was barely any smooth skin left. It was over her shoulders, all they way down her back and under where the towel sat just above her buttocks.

Rage burned within Scarlet, it surged through her entire body as she took in the sight of her. Leliana shivered and with shaking hands the Warden raised the towel back up.

"You don't have to be afraid with us, we would never let that happen. I won't let that happen, no one will touch you again." She said and she meant it. No one would touch her ever again.

The bard nodded with a faint smile. "I should get dressed and let you bathe."

Scarlet stood turning away from the bard as she got dressed.

"I..I'll see you back at camp." The bard turned to leave. The Warden grabbed her hand turning Leliana to face her.

"Scars or no scars Leliana, you are beautiful. Don't you let anyone tell you any different."

Leliana didn't reply they just stood in silence for a brief eternity, staring into one another's eyes. Something sparked in Scarlet's gut. The tingling feeling whenever she was with the bard amplified until she felt like she couldn't breathe.

Leliana fingers brushed her hand as she let go and headed back towards the camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this chapter. You can blame a mix of writers block and uncharted.


	14. Love hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay but life. Thank you all for sticking with this story after such a long absence. It means a lot.

Sleep was lost to Leliana she went through the motions but it would not come. Her mind taking her back to the waterfall. The memory of Scarlet holding her hand. Getting lost in those eyes, however briefly, made her heart soar. The bard almost let herself believe that the Warden felt something too but how could she? Leliana was broken. Her lover had broken her and the chevalier's had broken her. How could Scarlet feel anything for this shell of someone who once was? And what was she? A liar, a thief and a murder.

The bard shifted in her bedroll and watched the flame dance in the lamp. She liked to do this when she couldn't sleep, it calmed her. The candlelight was an arc of brilliant gold in the blackness chasing away her nightmares. Though it is flame Leliana imagined walking through it as if it were nothing more than an archway to somewhere beautiful. She imagined shrinking down and stepping into the light, golden and warm, yet not hot. In that moment she was captivated.

The scent of beeswax filled her senses as she inhaled deeply. A gift from the Warden, who noticed there was always a light on in her tent. Usually, only the chantry used candles of this quality. Scarlet had dismissed her concerns of how expensive they were with a wave of her hand. She also gifted Leliana the small lamp.

"Wouldn't want the second best redhead in Thedas setting her tent on fire, would we?" She said with a wink.

The memory warmed the bard and she couldn't help but smile. It didn't last long however, it never did. The darkness always consumed her. She had to carry it around even though she never wanted to. It was always over her, casting its shadow on her life. It was hung by a thin thread, too fragile to hold something so heavy.

The memory of Marjolaine caused the thread to finally break releasing the weight on her. It fell too fast, and before she could run she'd be pinned down. It crushed her ribs, made it hard for her to breathe. She tried to scream; a cry for help was of no use. No one else could see it - the weight that had been slowly crushing her.

_The redhead left the party without a glance in her direction. No one cared about a serving girl, she had to be quick, they would soon find his body. Leliana still balked at the thought of killing people but her lover demanded it and she would not disappoint Marjolaine again. She had fled the first time she was sent to assassinate a rich noble and she had been furious. Hopefully, her lover would be pleased she had accomplished this without being detected._

_Those grey eyes turned cold, she pursed her lips and raised her hand back. Marjolaine threw her hand forward as hard as she could, whipping it across her face. The crack of skin contacting skin echoed off the walls. Vibrations of pain started on her cheek and spread down her neck. Leliana's face was bright red, the same red that matched the one on her lover's palm. She didn't want to be on the end of the bardmasters rage again._

_She slipped the key into the lock of the secret door to Marjolaine's mansion. The door only she used, there was a stairway that took her to a hidden door in her lover's room. As Leliana got closer she could hear moaning, it sounded like Marjolaine but she wouldn't do that to Leliana she loved her. Her heart dropped into her stomach as sweat misted on her forehead. She wouldn't._

_The moaning only got louder the closer she got to the door, her brows furrowed as she stood on the threshold. Her fingertip ghosting over the button to release the door. Did she want to find out?_

_"MARJOLAINE!"_

_The scream was guttural, it echoed across the chamber and rang in Leliana's ears. Tears filled her eyes as she opened the door. For a brief second, she saw a young brunette woman sprawled across Marjolaine's bed, her face red and panting, fingers clutching the sheets beneath her as her skin glistened with sweat from the bardmaster's ministrations. Leliana fled, tears continued to flow as her feet led her down the narrow streets. She stopped at the docks, sitting on the pier._

_Emotions flitted between heart and head, she loved Marjolaine with everything she had but they were bards and seducing other people, while not happy about it, was part of their job but the Orlesian had assumed outside of those that they were only with one another._

_It was foolish, Marjolaine was a covetous woman, she knew what she wanted and she took it, Leliana should expect no less from her lover. The redhead splashed her face with some sea water and with her jaw set returned to her lover's mansion._

That was the first but not the last of Marjolaine's machinations and thinking back on it Leliana couldn't understand her continued devotion to her former lover, even up to the very end she would have done anything for her.

Leliana vowed after escaping the prison that she would never love again. All it brought her was betrayal and pain and she wouldn't go through that again, yet here she was feeling those familiar flutterings in her insides at the thought of the young Warden. Scarlet was kind, thoughtful and never made Leliana feel anything other than welcomed even after she had learned of her past, even after seeing what they had done to her body.

Feelings of attraction had quickly become romantic and it scared her. Women bedding other women was commonplace in Orlais but Fereldan was more conventional. Although she didn't blink when Leliana told her of Marjolaine. The bard shook her head, she was getting ahead of herself.

Alistair would make his move soon and Leliana's feelings wouldn't matter, her only option was to distance herself from the Warden before they took root within her.

 

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"Fucking demons!"

Scarlet burst through the door and into the courtyard, flecks of darkspawn covered her armour as she trudged past the creatures they had slaughtered earlier, the rest followed.

Upon arriving in Honneleath they had found the village overrun with them, they fought their way through them all only to find no one left. She could only assume that the villagers had either fled or been breakfast for the vile things. After trying the control rod with the words to rouse it, nothing happened. They checked all the houses to make sure no villagers were in hiding.

They found a lot of people crammed in behind a magical barrier, holding off the darkspawn. One of them was the son of the owner of the Golem, he claimed he'd provide the real words to wake it if they found his daughter, who'd run down into the basement.

"First a demon child and now a demon fucking cat, what's next? A demon turnip that possesses you when you eat it?" The Warden strode over to the Golem in the centre of the yard and took the control rod out once more.

"Do you thi-"

"No, Alistair I don't really think there are demon turnips," Scarlet cut her fellow Warden off, rolling her eyes and chancing a glance at Leliana.

The Orlesian normally laughed or joined in but there was nothing, she had been avoiding her all day, only chatting when it was necessary before moving off again. Scarlet had been racking her brain trying to figure out what she had done wrong.

After their moment at the pool, the Warden had hoped that maybe something could develop between them. She always knew she liked other women but had never actually been with one, other than a few stolen kisses with some of the other noble's daughters at these boring balls she was made to attend.

Maybe it wasn't a moment for both of them and only for her and that's why she was keeping her distance, she didn't want to lead the Warden on.

Scarlet got back to the task at hand, she pointed the rod at the stone giant.

"Dulen harn."

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

A few days had passed and Shale had been complaining for most of it and outright refused to call people by their names and usually just referred to them as "it."

It also didn't like birds, which first became evident when it crushed a chicken underfoot as they left Haven. Shrugging its shoulders at the looks of shock it received from everyone

"What's that? Did it hear flapping wings? There may be pigeons nearby, we should be alert!" she shouted at Scarlet midway through one of their conversations. Well, not so much a conversation as Scarlet asking questions only to be grunted at.

The Warden didn't mind, the golem was mistrustful of humans because it's last owner used the wand to make Shale his servant. She would have to earn its trust, she cannot expect it to be blindly given.

She had to admit after her initial worry they had made a mistake bringing the giant walking stone statue with them she was rather enjoying its company. That could be down the fact Leliana was avoiding her like she hadn't bathed since she was a babe.

The Orlesian didn't sit with her at meal times, wouldn't hunt with her and even swapped with someone if they had watch together, which cut her deeply. She would have to talk to Leliana, apologise for whatever she'd done to upset her. It was probably walking in on her bathing but she had thought after their conversation that everything was fine between them. Better than fine.

They were up early the next day and had everything packed and ready to go as the sun was barely visible on the horizon. The air was cool and crisp as night turned into day. The Warden made up her mind, she would talk with Leliana today on the road. They were not so far from Denerim now and who knows what they will be walking into when they get there.

It would also be the best opportunity to find out about her uncle, aunt and cousins. If Loghain considered her father a traitor then more than likely his younger brother would be considered the same. Scarlet's hand immediately when to her chest at the thought of her family, feeling the ring dig into her skin from the pressure was reassuring, it was looped around a grotty piece of string she found in Ostagar.

Her mother's engagement ring was all she had left of her family, it was slipped into her hand as she was lead away by Duncan with one last intense look and a kiss to her forehead. The Seawolf stayed, snarling one last time. Standing over her dying father as the soldiers came.

Scarlet blinked back tears as the warm water caresses the cool air, creating a drifting airy fog that hovered around them. It was still more night than day when the sky spoke. Scarlet wasn't a religious person but as the stars danced in the sky above them she could understand why people were.

Shots of light, trailed by orange and white mist raced across her field of vision. Hundreds of them flashed across the sky then faded from sight. Some people celebrated this as a gift from the Maker other considered it him displaying his anger.

She was brought out her thoughts with a bang as one of the falling stars, aflame crashed into the ground not too far from them and lit up the surrounding area.

Maybe it was a gift after all. Star metal was rare and extremely sought after, they made excellent weapons.

"Let's go," She said as she mounted her horse, nodding in the direction of the flames.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

With the star metal safely stored away, the group made their way towards the Capital, Scarlet let Alistair take the lead and slowed her steed down so she could ride beside Leliana. The Orlesian saw this too and was about to kick her horse to a canter.

"Leliana, please! Can I talk to you?" Scarlet pulled up beside the Orlesian who simply nodded but refused to look at her.

"I... I wanted to apologise to you, I should have made sure that no one was bathing before I went to the waterfall and as for what I saw I won't tell-"

"You have nothing to apologise for," Leliana cut her off still staring directly ahead, gripping the reins so tightly that her knuckles had turned white.

"Then why have you been avoiding me?" A small tremor that she couldn't conceal giving away her hurt. She dropped her eyes briefly trying to compose herself. _What is wrong with me?_

When she glanced back up Leliana was looking at her now, eyes filled with a gentle sorrow that thumped the Warden in the chest and threatened to knock her from her saddle.

"It's nothing you've done, my... My friend," She leaned over and looked like she was about to take Scarlet's hand but moved at the last second to grip her shoulder. "I just need some-"

"Enemies ahead!"

Alistair's cry came from the head of the group. They all immediately dismounted and took up their positions.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

"Don't kill him," Leliana said as she moved to the stand in front of the bandit who attacked them. Scarlet turned around incredulous "He tried to kill us!"

"He is no common bandit, none of them were. Their weapons and armour are of a fine make and they are well trained. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?" The Orlesian turned to the man now on his knees, holding his side were Scarlet's dagger had found a gap in his armour.

"Who are you?"

He coughed, inhaling deeply before looking up at them.

"Someone who regrets taking you on. I was told it would be an easy job. Kill the Orlesian, deal with the others how we pleased." He managed to stagger to his feet, hand still firmly clasped to his side. Scarlet kicked his sword away, she knew she cut him but it could be feigning how bad.

"Kill the...You came to kill me?" Leliana's brow furrowed as she stared at the would-be assassin, she had clearly thought the Wardens were the target just like the rest of them had.

"Marjolaine," Leliana whispered as she turned to Scarlet. "She's found me after all these years." The Warden looked into those eyes that were full of sorrow before and saw they had been replaced with despair and fear.

Anger burned through Scarlet's veins as she turned to the assassin, hands balled up into fists, barely managing to control herself.

"A location for your life." The Warden wasn't in the habit of killing unarmed men but he didn't know that and he was all too glad to give up this information.

"We'll camp here tonight. Zevran, follow him. I don't want him doubling back to finish the job. If he leaves then let him go but if he tries anything-"

"I'll make him a feast for crows, my beautiful friend," The elf smirked then bowed before stalking after his fellow assassin.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

_I won't let her touch you._

Leliana replayed the words in her head as she left the camp in the dead of night. Scarlet had come to her and promised to take care of Marjolaine and Leliana thanked her but the Orlesian had no intention of letting any harm come to the young Cousland.

Marjolaine was one of the best bards while Scarlet was an excellent duelist, the bardmaster would use every trick in the book to gain an advantage and she couldn't bear the thought of Scarlet getting hurt or worse because of her.

No. it had to be this way so with one last longing look at Scarlet's tent she waited until Asa was patrolling on the other side of camp and slipped away and into the trees with great anguish.

"Hopefully I will see you again soon, my... My Warden." She whispered as the fire from the camp grew smaller.


	15. The Spider, the Bitch and the Warden

The wet, desolate streets of the city rested in silence as the starry black sky wept over it. The water in the potholes shimmered by the glow of the bright, yellow street lanterns. An old man with a large mustache and scruffy jacket had past a candle mark earlier, lighting the darkening road as day melted into the night. He paid no mind to the woman who had been crouched behind a barrel for most of the day.

The trees that surrounded the buildings swayed as the breeze caressed them. A lone guardsman snored comfortably on his small mahogany stool, safe from the drizzle under the balcony that leads to the master bedroom. "Tsk." The whisper was barely audible, Marjolaine would have his hide.

The soft beat of the rain was rarely interrupted, someone going home merrily or a dog barking but mostly the street was still. Marjolaine had chosen well, as Leliana knew she would.

The Orlesian had wandered around the buildings similar to the one Marjolaine was using, almost all of them had a back door that led to the basement. She could pick the lock, which may be booby trapped, and work her way up the building. It would take time and she would have to avoid or kill all the guards on the inside.

Another option was the roof, the skylight would let her into the master bedroom, the entrance to the balcony would also be booby-trapped, and to her former lover directly. It wouldn't be easy either. There were at least two guards on the roof, she had watched them walk past now and again as she watched the house and getting to the roof without causing a commotion would be difficult, especially in this weather.

She would have to make up her mind soon, ordinarily, she would have liked a few days to scout the place, find out about the guards, if they could be swayed in any way but Scarlet wouldn't give her that. She knew the Warden would come straight to Denerim once she figured out Leliana was missing. This had to be done tonight, she would not allow Marjolaine to hurt her friends and would not allow her friends to be put at risk by her, this had to end now.

Leliana crept closer to the house, staying in the shadows as much as possible, the fence was high too high to climb over. _No matter._

Climbing up one of the trees she edged out onto one of the longer branches, the bark was slippery because of the rain. Taking a deep breath she centered herself on the branch, as the air fled her lungs she ran, two long strides then jumped over the fence. Tucking her head in she landed on the soft wet glass and tumbled to cushion her fall. She rolled smoothly to her feet and pressed herself against the wall.

Waiting a few moments to make sure no one had heard her, she began to climb the building. Moving from window to window, peeking inside before pulling herself up. She made it to the roof without incident, dispatching the guards easily. Almost too easily.

There was a simple latch keeping the window closed, she slipped her knife under and slide it along the frame."No trap." she whispered to herself, when did Marjolaine become so complacent.

The latch opened and she pulled the window open just enough to slip inside. Standing on the ladder she let it close without noise and dropped to the ground.

The room had a massive bed, four posters with the curtains pulled closed all around it, the bard let her eyes adjust to the darkness of the room. Her footfalls left no sound as she moved to the bed, through the fabric of the curtain she saw her. The woman who tossed her aside and left her in the hands of monsters.

The dagger slipped from its sheathe as she readied herself to pull the curtain back, ready to pierce her former lover's heart, break it like Marjolaine broke hers.

She pulled and as her arm raised over her head she heard a small click, then a sharp pain in her arm. Immediately her world started spinning, she fell backward, her arms supporting her as her vision went blurry.

"Oh my pretty thing, did you really think you could kill me?" Marjolaine's hand cupped her cheek. Leliana tried batting it away but it caused her to fall completely to the floor as her world faded to black.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Scarlet had pushed the horse harder than she normally would, poor Bob was beginning to froth at the mouth. He couldn't go on at this pace for much longer. It was just her, Asa and Zevran now with Morrigan flying overhead. Sten and Alistair's horses couldn't keep pace and Wynne while being able to ride, wasn't very experienced having lived in the circle all her life. They would pack up the camp and bring everything with them.

They had waited well past dawn for Leliana to rise from her slumber, long after they would have normally set out. Scarlet reasoned that the assassination attempt on her might have shaken her a little and tried to give her as much time as possible but eventually went to wake the bard only to find an empty tent.

They had left at once but Leliana had half a day on them, maybe more and it was already nightfall when they reached the city gates. The guards were suspicious of two elves and a woman and after asking more questions than they normally would Scarlet was growing impatient.

She held her tongue as the Grey Wardens were still wanted for treason and she couldn't draw attention to herself. Asa spoke mostly to the guard, she was good at dealing with people, growing up an elf in a noble house, not as a servant was unheard of and she learned to talk her way around situations.

Zervan knew the city well "I've assassinated many people here, you have to know all the streets to find the quickest possible exit." and lead them through the dark rain-soaked streets with ease.

The house seemed quiet, Scarlet would have thought there was no one home had there not been lanterns on in the windows. Morrigan was perched on the wall beside them as they discussed how they would break in.

"Morrigan, fly around the windows to see if you can see her," Scarlet said to the jet black raven.

She watched as the witch circled the house, stopping at each window and after a few minutes, flying back to take her human form beside them.

"Tis not something you are going to like."

xxxxxxxxxxx

Leliana's vision was still fuzzy as she came around from the sleeping draft, she shook her head to get some clarity and wished she hadn't.

The Orlesian's hands and feet were tied to a chair in the sitting room, the fire roared beside her, Marjolaine sat, cross-legged in front on a rather comfy looking settee. There was a hosting table between them, it normally offered guests sweets, cakes and wines but tonight it only offered torture.

Leliana fought the darkness trying to grip her, the memories of those weeks in the Orlesian dungeon threatened to suffocate her, she tried to put her bard training into practice but the smirk that graced Marjolaine's face told her she would fool no one.

"You framed me! Had me tortured. I thought in Fereldan I would be free of you! What happened to make you hate me so? Why do you want me dead so badly?" Leliana shrieked as she tried pulling her hands free from their bindings.

"You have knowledge that you could use against me. For my own safety, I cannot let you be." Sitting up, the split in her dress showing off her thigh as she uncrossed them and picked up a poker.

"Did you not think I knew where you were? Did you not think I would watch my Leliana?" She waved the poker in front of Leliana's face before standing up and placing it in the fire. Controlled panic wept over her, sweat slipped down her forehead as she could almost smell her flesh burning from memory. It would forever be with her.

"What is she up to? I thought. The quiet life, the peasant clothes, hair ragged and messy like a boy... This is not her," Marjolaine turned the poker over.

"You were planning something, I told myself. So I watched...But no letters were sent. No messages, you barely spoke to anyone." The bardmaster plucked the poker from the fire and examined it closely. Leliana's eyes widened, her mouth now dry as dirt.

_O Maker, hear me cry:_  
Guide me through the blackest nights.  
Steel my heart against the temptations of the wicked.  
Make me to rest in the warmest places. 

Leliana recited the chant to in her head, forcing herself to breathe. She closed her eyes and looked down.

"Clever Leliana, very clever. You almost had me fooled." Marjolaine thrust the poker back into the fire.

_Blessed are they who stand before_  
The corrupt and the wicked and do not falter.  
Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just. 

"But then you left the chantry so suddenly, what conclusions should I draw? You tell me." She went back to the poker, it was white hot now.

"Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow. In their blood, the Maker's will is written!" Leliana voiced the last part before opening her eyes and staring at her former lover. Marjolaine was an excellent bard, one of the best but she couldn't quite hide her surprise at Leliana's outburst.

"You think I left because of you? You think I still have some plan for...For revenge? You are insane!" Tears escaped her eyes before she could stop them.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Marjolaine had people hiding in rooms just off to either side of the sitting room where she had Leliana tied up. A qunari and a mage in each room, they were huddled around the door seemingly waiting for some kind of signal.

Asa took one side while Zevran took the other, they would slip inside and try and deal with this potential threat before they had a chance to fight back. Scarlet and Morrigan would come in from the front and take on the guards stationed outside the door. There was no way to deal with them quietly.

Zevran gave Asa some throwing daggers, he coated them in a toxin that would kill anyone within minutes with just a scratch. She didn't need to throw to kill just graze their skin. They would slip the windows up enough to hit the ambushers. Once the Warden heard the commotion she would come in.

Scarlet heard the crashes as the elves engaged their targets, Scarlet kicked the door down and immediately rolled forward to the left and stabbed the giant qunari in the knee, he had swung his great axe but way too high. He dropped to the floor and she pierced his throat. Hot blood coated her hand as she withdrawn her steel.

Morrigan had transformed into a giant spider and was currently enjoying a midnight snack of qunari tartare.

Scarlet rushed the door that led to the sitting room, Zevran and Asa joined her a moment later. Marjolaine was behind Leliana. The Antivan didn't hesitate, he threw one of his coated daggers straight at the bitch.

Marjolaine dived out the way and Scarlet pounced, she had the Orlesian pressed up against the wall. The warden had dropped her own daggers and had a hold of the Orlesians hands. One had a stiletto in it that was trying to slowly make it's way to Scarlet's eye.

"I WILL NOT BE DENIED!" The bard said through gritted teeth as the Warden kept the dagger at bay.

"That sounds like something your mother said last night. I can't be sure, though, her thighs were pressed against my ears." Scarlet quipped and Marjolaine would have probably responded had the Warden not headbutted her in the face.

She pushed off against the wall, yanked the stiletto free from her hand and jumped back as the bard lashed out with a blind kick then she lunged, her aim was true, it pierced her heart as her yellow dress stained red a look of confusion crossed her face as she weakly grabbed at the hilt before going limp.

Asa and Zevran had untied Leliana who was now sobbing, she collapsed as she tried to stand.

"She tried to... She was going to," her words became ineligible as her whole body shook and she began retching.

"We need to go. Now! The city guards will be on their way," Zervran moved to the front door where Morrigan was lying exhausted. Evidently jumping from human form to different species and back again had taken a lot out of her.

Scarlet hooked her arm under Leliana's legs and lifted her.

"Can you carry Morrigan, Zev?" The elf was already throwing the mage over his shoulder, he looked slender but was surprisingly strong.

"We can't walk into an inn like this, think we can get them out the city?" Leliana's face was pressed against Scarlet's armour.

"We can go to the Pearl, I know the matron there pretty well," Zevran winked before heading out the door.

"Asa take the lead and scout, we're heading to the docks district."


	16. The Heart Wants

They had found the pearl without bumping into any guards, the winding streets of Denerim going from beautiful stone mansions to more modest accommodation the closer they got to the docks.

Salt clung to the air as they made their way along the sea front, ships and skiffs of all sizes could be seen on the horizon, the capital had the largest port in the country and many merchants came through with spices from Antiva and silks from Orlais.

Leliana had stopped crying along the way somewhere but still had her face pressed into Scarlet's leathers, her arms wrapped around the Wardens neck.

"Why wasn't she content to just kill me?" Leliana looked up at her now, her eyes shone in the moonlight. The Warden had been carrying her for some time and barely looked fatigued, small beads of sweat ran down her neck but she looked like she could hold the Orlesian forever. Leliana still hoped she would.

"All I ever did was love her, worry for her, want to please her and she wanted to torture me one last time before killing me. She could've easily coated that dart in a fast acting poison, I'd have been dead within minutes but no, she had to have me know she bested me. Did she ever love me? Am I like her? Maybe-" Leliana continued.

"No." Scarlet cut the bard off. "You are nothing like her, don't ever say that about yourself," The warden was calm, she set Leliana on the ground and waved for Asa and Zevran to continue on.

"You are beautiful, kind and-"

The Warden said no more as Leliana moved forward and crashed their lips together. She couldn't take it any longer, these feelings building inside her.

Scarlet returned the kiss. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways words could never be. Leliana brought her hand up to just below the Wardens ear, her thumb caressing her cheek as their breaths mingled. Scarlet ran her fingers down her spine, pulling her closer until there was no space left between them and Leliana could feel the beating of the Warden's heart against her chest.

Then it was abruptly over Scarlet starting pulling away, letting her arms drop from Leliana's waist as she stepped back.

"We shouldn't do this," The Warden said quietly, staring at the ground. A knot formed in the Orlesian's stomach.

"Why?" She stepped closer, shrinking the distance Scarlet had opened up.

"Because you've been through too much, you're not thinking straight. You don't want this and I... I shouldn't take advantage," The Warden was fidgeting with her hands, she still hadn't looked at Leliana.

"If you don't want to be with me because of my past or my... my scars then please say so and don't make excuses, yes?" The bard turned on her heel and started walking towards the brothel, eyes filling once more as she stepped up and reached for the door.

"How could you?" Scarlet had stayed where she was, as Leliana turned she walked forward slowly. The hurt in the Wardens eyes was evident.

"You have been avoiding me. Making sure we aren't alone, swapping watches with people so we don't need to share one together. You were the one putting distance between us," She stopped on the step below the Leliana, eyes unwavering as the bore into the Orlesians and she wanted nothing more than to tip forward and fall into them.

"I can't believe you think me so shallow." Scarlet turned and walked to the edge of the pier.

"You wouldn't be the first, when others have seen them they have turned from me," Leliana's argument was weak and she knew it, Scarlet hadn't done that at all, She had stayed and comforted Leliana. The Warden was right, it had been the bard pulling away.

"I didn't!" Scarlet turned to face her again, the moon bright behind her, the air was thick around them. "I didn't turn when I saw them, you did. You stopped spending time with me, kept your distance. When I tried to find out what was wrong you pushed me away again. Now you're kissing me, what am I meant to think? What do you want from me?!"

"I want you!" Leliana shrieked so loud a pair of sleeping seagulls flapped overhead and glared at her. She stormed forward and stood in front of the Warden once more, cupping Scarlet's cheek.

"I. Want.You." she whispered this time but said every word as if her life depended on it because it did. She couldn't go back now, not after finally feeling those soft lips on hers.

Leliana hesitantly looked up to her, the swirls of emotion she saw there made her gasp. Lust, desire, and love? However, before she could ponder it more Scarlet yanked her closer and covered her mouth in a hungry kiss. As their lips crushed together, fire coursed through her body and a wave of warmth filled her, spilling out from her heart. The Warden's mouth was so inviting, the caress of her lips softer than she could have imagined. A low moan escaped the bard as unexpectedly Scarlet's hand drifted to her hip. It settled there and pulled them even closer.

Leliana inhaled sharply as she was pressed against her body, chiseled to perfection. Must she be so perfect? She splayed her hand between the Wardens breasts, intending to push her away, the intensity of her feelings scaring her but she left it there instead. No one had ever kissed her like this, not even Marjolaine.

Leliana had to stifle a sigh of disappointment when a need to breathe forced them apart. Scarlet rested her forehead on hers as they both gathered some much-needed air. The Wardens smirk told her everything and the bard smiled back, sinking into her embrace. Resting her head against the Wardens chest.

They stood for a moment, arms wrapped around one another. Neither one of them moved, not wanting to break this moment.

The creak of wood brought them both spinning around drawing their weapons.

"Alistair!" Scarlet exclaimed. "You made it."

"We just got into the city, Asa asked me to come find you, she was worried." The older Warden smiled but it didn't reach his cheeks and when he looked at Leliana the hurt in them made her insides twist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about how short this chapter is but I've had it almost written for a while now, I had intended to write more after but I wanted to get it out there.


	17. The Pearl

The doors of the Pearl swung shut behind them, shutting out the salt and fish stench of the docks. They stood in a carpeted foyer in muted yellow candlelight. Perfume clung to the air as well as the faint smoky tang of burnt felendaris, that people used it to unwind.

As the next door opened, Leliana saw a brunette woman standing in the corner, her fingers strumming on a beautiful oak lute as she sang some ballad about her love being lost at sea. Scantily clad women and men were making their way around the tables, trying to get some business. They moved over to where the rest of their group was sitting, the bard making sure she got a seat next to Scarlet.

Leliana watched Alistair knock back one drink after another, he had been glaring at her over his horn of ale all evening. Wynne had tried to talk to him but eventually gave up as he shrugged her off for the hundredth time.

Scarlet, on the other hand, was currently glaring over hers at Zevran, the elf had his arm around Asa's shoulders and was whispering something in her ear that brought a stream of giggles from the young elf's mouth.

The bard was jealous, although only half as jealous as she would have been had the Warden's hand not been cupping her thigh under the table at that very moment. She crossed her leg over, keeping Scarlet's hand there. A possessive gesture she knew but it made her feel better when the Warden didn't try and pull away.

She knew Scarlet and Asa considered themselves sisters, growing up in Highever together had made them close but she just couldn't shake this feeling. She always had to share Marjolaine with others, now she wanted someone all to herself. She squeezed her thighs and felt the Warden wiggle her fingers in response. Scarlet stopped glaring at Zevran for a minute to look up at her.

A small smirk graced the Wardens lips and Leliana giggled, as the bard leaned in to steal a quick kiss, the scraping of a chair turned them around to see Alistair had stood up, eyes darting between them both.

“I'm going outside for some fresh air,” He declared before storming off, slamming the door shut behind him.

“What's his problem?” Scarlet said as she made to rise and go after him, pulling her hand from Leliana's leg which caused the bard to frown slightly.

“I'll go,” She said, putting her hand on Scarlet's shoulder, she followed Alistair outside where she found him sitting on a barrel, looking out over the ocean. He turned his head and when he saw it was the bard he quickly turned back.

“Go away, Leliana. I don't want to speak to you.”

“We'll I want to speak with you!” The bard demanded, she crossed her arms over chest. “You have been glaring at me all evening and it's time you stopped.”

“You knew how I felt about her, I even asked you for help but you went ahead and kissed her anyway. How long has it been going on? Have you been laughing at me this whole time?”

“No, of course not. Alistair you are not the only one who likes her and just because you voiced it doesn't mean you can lay claim to her.” Leliana was trying to stay calm but the Wardens ridiculous notion that somehow she had stolen Scarlet from him was grating on her.

“Why did you give me advice if you liked her? Why try and help me?” The Warden jumped off his perch and was now facing her, arms folded across his chest.

“I... I wasn't sure she would be interested in other women.” Leliana said, not lying per se she wasn't sure at first but the real reason was she thought Scarlet deserved better than she. Leliana frowned, she still believed that.

“We can't help who we love Alistair, I'm sorry you feel hurt but-”

“Love?” Alistair cut the bard off, “You're in love with her?”

“I... Yes, I think so.” Leliana admitted to herself more than Alistair. She was in love, something she vowed to herself that she wouldn't let happen.

“You should tell her,” Alistair's was smiling at her now, the hurt was still in his eyes but the tenseness his body had coiled into was now gone.

“And let her know that after one kiss I fell hopelessly in love with her? She would never let me live it down, no?”

“You may have a point, and sorry for acting like an arse. You two deserve to be happy.” He held out his elbow, “Shall we?” gesturing back towards the pearl.

Xxxxx

Alistair was behaving himself now, laughing with the others but still trying to avoid looking at Scarlet and Leliana. He still had the face of a kicked puppy every time their eyes met, he would need some time to work through it, maybe bedding one of the ladies working tonight could help him out with that, Leliana thought.

“Well well well, look what the cat dragged in... A crow.”

A tall woman with sun-kissed skin sauntered up to their table, still fixing her long tunic from her exertions in the other room. Her large chest drawing everyone's attention. She had thigh high leather boots and long brown hair that tumbled over her shoulders held out of her eyes by a blue bandana.

“Isabela!” Zervan laughed.

A blonde elf girl waddled out of the room behind her clutching a handful of silver coins.

“You earned that,” Isabela shouted over her shoulder and turned back to the group grinning, her honey coloured eyes danced with mirth.

“Let me introduce myself, I am Isabela,” She bowed. “Captain of the Sirens call and shagger extraordinaire.” Her eyes lingered too long on Scarlet for Leliana's liking and the bard scooted closer. A gesture that did not go unnoticed by the olive skinned beauty with a small nod in the bard's direction.

“Isabela is a Rivaini pirate, we did some... Business a few years ago.” Zervan said, his arm still around Asa's Shoulders.

“If by business you mean killing my husband and me thanking you... Copiously for it.” She was leering at Asa as she said this, eyes roaming over the young elf.

“Well aren't you a sweet little thing?” Isabela sat down next to the elf, pressing herself close to her To Leliana's surprise Asa didn't appear to mind, quite happily staring into the valley between the pirate's breasts.

“Wouldn't you like to know?” Asa said, which caused Zevran to snicker into his ale.

“Yes, yes I would.” The pirate replied and so started an ongoing battle with them both trying to bed the elf until she excused herself and retired to her room alone. Scarlet finally relaxed a little, Leliana thought the Warden ready to pounce over the table and drag Asa away.

“Well wasn't she quite the little tease? Fancy a tumble?” Isabela said and she and Zevran left for the pirate's ship.

Everyone went to bed soon after, it had been a long day. After a kiss good night the Warden and the bard went to their separate rooms. They had agreed to take it slow, Leliana was just not ready to be physical with Scarlet just yet and the Warden had completely understood.

That night Leliana didn't have her usual nightmares, she dreamed of the future, not the past and what her life with the Warden would be.

The next day they split up into two groups, they would have to remain inconspicuous as the Warden's were still wanted by the guards. Having a golem and a qunari wandering around the capital would draw too much attention so they both remained with the horses outside the city walls.

Alistair took Zevran and Morrigan to find Brother Genitivi and hopefully the information of the location of Andraste's ashes. Scarlet, Leliana, Asa, and Wynne were going back to the grander part of the city and would have to be careful.

The Warden's uncle, aunt, and cousin lived in Denerim, although Scarlet's father Bryce was Teyrn of Highever, he loathed to leave it unless it was absolutely necessary. So his younger brother Roderick, his wife Tessa and their daughter Maisie lived here as Ambassador to the crown.

Howe's soldiers swarmed over the mansion, Leliana put a hand on Scarlet's elbow and gave it a little squeeze.

“You can't go in,” Asa said from behind them. They were all hiding behind a rather large carriage at the opposite end of the street.

“That's my family.” The Warden whispered quietly but firmly, “I have to help if I can.”

“Let me go,” Asa replied and began taking her armour off, handing her bow and arrows to Leliana, the elf was just in a tunic and trews. She let her hair down going from dalish hunter to elven servant in a matter of seconds.

Xxxxx

There was just no way in without being seen, there were just too many guards. Asa would have to be creative, her whole life she had been mistaken for a servant it was a thing humans did. They see an elf and they think of something lower than themselves. Scarlet's family largely shielded her from this but it was still there and although she felt loved and wanted by them she still knew she was out of place. 

The looks and remarks she got while out were always evident, even fellow elves had something to say about her treachery like she had a choice. It's the main reason she left to find the people, her mother's people.

“Oi, you there! Whatcha doing sulking about?” The guard at the gate called over to her. She kept her head down as she got closer.

“Forgive me Ser, Arl Howe sent me to make the place presentable for his arrival from the palace.”

She glanced up at the guard who had a confused look on his face and her heart began to race, she didn't know if Howe was at the palace, it was the only logical conclusion but what if he was already here. Could she have fucked this up already?

“I think you'll find that's Teryn Howe now, knife ear. Now that we've killed the traitors at Highever.” The guard laughed and nudged his buddy beside him who did the same. Asa breathed a sigh of relief.

“And with traitors here disposed of as well, all we need to do is find both daughters and the Couslands will be no more.” He said smugly.

“Both daughters? I thought the traitor only had one, they've sent men out looking for her.” The other guard chimed in, brows furrowed under his helmet.

“The Warden is still on the loose,” The first guard was exasperated now. “But it's only a matter of time.”

 

“Forgive me good Sers but the house is a lot bigger than expected, I shall need to fetch some more servants to help with the cleaning.” Asa did a small curtsey and walked back towards the carriage.

The others had moved around the corner and she found them in an alleyway between to large houses.

“Well? Are they dead?” Scarlet was shaking, it's a wonder she didn't charge at the mansion while Asa was gone and the elf suspected a lot of that had to do with Leliana, she knew the bard had feelings for her sister and by the looks of last night, it seems to be reciprocated.

“Your aunt and uncle have been murdered, but Maisie is on the run.”


	18. A Nice Surprise

They had run away from the Cousland family mansion in Denerim, it wasn't safe for Scarlet to be around so many of Howe's men when they were still looking for her. So now the Warden stood with Wynne in a little side street, hidden in the shadows just off the main market.

It was still early evening, the sun had begun its slow descent to rest beneath the horizon. The stalls would remain open for a time. A man with a large moustache was now going around lighting lanterns that were now attracting moths and other flying insects. There were lots of pigeons sitting on top of the opposite building and you could hear the constant cawing of crows.

“Dwarven crafts, fine dwarven crafts. Direct from Orzammar, you won't find better!” A dwarf with a large braided beard was shouting over the bustle of people going about their day.

Asa and Leliana were pretending to browse wares as they tried to gain information on Scarlet's cousin, hoping to find out if someone was hiding her but they didn't seem to have much luck.

The Warden watched Leliana and it was hard for her not to just walk over and take her hand, she had had feelings for the bard for a while now and she had no idea Leliana felt the same so when she kissed her last night she was shocked but it just felt right, like that's where she was supposed to be in the arms of this beautiful woman.

A small smile appeared on Scarlet's face as she thought her life with the bard then quickly fled when she realised the implications of her being a Warden. There was only her and Alistair left in Ferelden, where would her duties take her? And that was only if she survived the coming blight. If she did survive then her shortened lifespan would become an issue, her relationship with Leliana was still very new and maybe she was getting ahead of herself but it's still something that she should tell her about even though Alistair said the Wardens were sworn to secrecy on the joining.

She was jolted out of her thoughts when Wynne nudged her to indicted Asa and Leliana's return.

“No one's talking,” Asa said as she began putting her armour back on, swinging her bow over her shoulder.

“I'm sorry,” Leliana's gaze held hers for a moment, her eyes filled with compassion. “No one knows anything and if they do they are not willing or are too scared to say anything. Loghain and Howe have completely taken over the running of the city.”

“Her best option would have been to leave the city, dear,” Wynne said, squeezing Scarlet's hand. “As is yours, it won't be long before someone recognises you. We should find Alistair and the others.”

Scarlet nodded, she had come to trust Wynne a lot since the mage joined them. She would always heed advice from her and confide her insecurities.

“Let's go find the others,” Scarlet pushed herself off the wall, brushing her hand against Leliana's. She wanted to take it, hold it in hers but they hadn't told anyone about their relationship just yet so she had to make do with the fleeting touch of skin for now.

They headed off in the same direction as the others did earlier that day. Hopefully, they would have better news and have Brother Genitivi.

Xxxxx

The camp was quiet, Sten and Shale hadn't had any trouble while the others were inside the city walls. They had met up with the others as they were leaving Genitvi's house. He wasn't there but there was a strange man claiming to be his assistant after Zevran had poked holes in the man's story they learned that he was an imposter trying to put people off searching for the ashes.

Alistair had found the real location in Genitivi's journal, it was a small town south west of Denerim and that's where they would now be heading on the morrow. It wasn't on any map that Leliana had ever seen, just under the Frostback Mountains, well hidden.

“A gift for you,” Asa had bowed in front of Scarlet with a wrapped package in her hand, Leliana was on the other side of camp unpacking her things but she couldn't help be curious.

“What is it?” Scarlet's brow furrowed.

“I took the liberty of taking the star metal you found to a blacksmith in the capital,” The elf said as Scarlet took the package. “He's a little eccentric but he's the best in Ferelden. I had him make two daggers.”

Leliana moved and sat beside her Warden as she ripped open the paper to reveal two of the most beautiful daggers Leliana had every seen.

Two silver, almost white daggers lay in Scarlet's lap a blue hue seemed to be embedded in the metal which radiated outwards. Laurels were intricately carved wrapping around the hilts. Leliana remembered that the Cousland sigil was two laurels on a blue field.

The bard could see Scarlet becoming emotional as her fingers ran over one of the hilts, her eyes watering. Leliana put her arm around her offering a little comfort.

She guessed the daggers to be around six or seven inches in length and so sharp that even the gentlest of scratches would result in a massive bleed.

“Thank you Asa, but when did you find the time? You were with me all day,” The Warden whispered as she began twirling one around, getting a feel for it.

“I told Alistair what I wanted and where to go, He wasn't in so much of a rush to get to the city as you or I.” Asa glanced a Leliana as she said this and the bard felt her face flush but there was no judgement in her look. “ He found the blacksmith before we met up at the pearl.”

Leliana's stomach lurched a little, Alistair had feelings for Scarlet and this was before he had seen her and the Warden kissing on the dock. Leliana wondered if it was Asa's idea at all.

xxxxx

“Would my lady care to join me for a walk?” Scarlet did a small curtsey that brought smiles to both their faces then held out her hand which the bard took promptly and with a couple of curious glances from some of their companions they made their way through the trees until they could barely see the campfire through the foliage. Far enough away for privacy but close enough to get back quickly if something happened.

It had begun to rain as they had walked, droplets clung to Leliana's lashes as she turned to look at her Warden. In the rain, Scarlet's hair, which she had let down when they stopped at camp was now one with her face. It drove Leliana crazy. The Warden's vulnerable expression, unsure of what to do. The bard wonders if she knows how mad it drives her, how it makes her want to feel every inch of her skin.

Her head was still not ready for intimacy but her body couldn't seem to help itself, there had been a constant tug of war raging inside her. She would wait however and not just because of her own insecurities but because Scarlet had revealed she hadn't been intimate with anyone before. It hadn't surprised Leliana, Scarlet was noble and in another life she would have waited until marriage. 

She didn't want her love's first time to be outside in a tent within earshot of all they were travelling with, she wanted it to be special. Just them with no thought of who could hear them or one ear listening out for an unknown danger, she wanted to lose herself in her Warden without worry and she wanted the same for Scarlet.

Leliana loved that she was taller, she reached up and let her arms hang tenderly around her neck, resting on her shoulders. Her scent intoxicated her, leather and lavender from the soaps she used. Her gentle smile the bard's salvation. She noticed Scarlet tilt her head as she leant in for the kiss and her own tilted upward.

The kiss was soft, gentle and chaste, there wasn't the hunger from the night before but it was better than that. There was a surge of warmth that filled her up then spilled out from her heart to the rest of her body until every inch of her was saturated with love


End file.
